Tangled
by Elle Light
Summary: Part2 of Even the worst endings are not endings at all. Acheflow is decided to save the future but her ways are tangled. It's been 6 years since the accident and one day they received unexpected visitors. Back in Camelot, Morgana gained her throne for the second time, but she met a prankish girl and things got complicated.
1. Chapter 1

The Philosophy of Decyphering

"Welcome, dear brother. It's been far too long." Morgana got up and walked toward him. "I apologise if you had a difficult reception. It's hard to know who to trust these days."

Morgana stopped in the middle and Arthur approached her slowly. He raised Excalibur with an open hand to show he's not attacking her, and she watched his warily until he placed the sword in his belt. He met her in the middle.

"What happened to you Morgana?" Arthur asked her softly.

Morgana looked him in the eye almost regretfully, the hurt plain on both their faces and in their voices.

"I thought we were friends." The king went on.

"As did I." Her voice was soft at first, but it hardened afterwards. "But alas, we were both wrong."

"You can't blame me for my father's sins."

"It's a little late for that. You've made it perfectly clear how you feel about me and my kind. You're not as different from Uther as you'd like to think."

"Nor are you." The witch became angry and backed away.

"Stupid kids!" They heard a soft voice and soon all the glances were directed towards the throne and met the blue of a child's eye. A sweet, little girl.

"Who are you?" Both Arthur and Morgana asked surprising each other.

"You're sitting on my throne." Morgana pointed out in a half furious half amused tone. That girl looked so sweet and so innocent that the witch felt she couldn't be too harsh with her, though the way the girl had called them and the fact she was sitting on HER throne annoyed Morgana.

"Your throne?" The girl uttered amused. "But it's not yours and neither yours, Arthur."

"What you mean?" Merlin couldn't help but asking.

"Hello, Merlin. Don't you see how stupid you are? All of you. It's just a chair."

"But it means more than an ordinary chair." Merlin went on.

"Which one of them is really up to what this chair stands for? Be honest, Merlin."

"Arthur is learning and…" the warlock babbled. The girl stopped him.

"Nothing is certain, Merlin. Do not speak about past or future things because past is long gone and future may never exist. Speak for now and only for this very instant."

"He has a lot to learn." Arthur watched him surprised and a bit disappointed, but deep inside he understood.

"Morgana could learn too, couldn't she?"

"She's too bitter and cruel; so full of hatred that she has forgotten what she was fighting for."

"And you haven't?"

"I...that's how it has to be. Some choices are easy, some…"

"Stay with you forever." the girl finished the sentence.

"How?"

"I've been watching you for a while. It's not the choices that are difficult, but to face your worst fears and do the right thing." The little girl supervised everyone with her glance. "Deep inside you know what you need to do. Each of you does."

"I don't get what Merlin has to do with all those? He's just a servant." Morgana spoke visibly annoyed by this conversation. Though, the girl ignored her.

"And Arthur? What about him? Is he really a fair king?"

"He's still young and inexperienced."

"So is Morgana." The girl cut him.

"In fact, I don't understand why they have to fight. They used to be friends. Together they would have turned Camelot into a better place." The warlock pointed out, causing Morgana to burst out.

"I have magic, Merlin. You can't understand." The High Priestess cried.

"Could you stop supposing you know what I can or can't understand? Would you ever stop supposing you know what other people think? Have you ever tried to speak with him?" Merlin burst out.

"Have you?" The question caught the warlock unprepared, although neither Morgana nor Arthur understood what the girl meant.

"What you mean? Merlin is the biggest idiot I know. There's nothing I do not know about him." Arthur pointed out.

"Do not be so sure." Morgana put on her disdainful voice.

"What has whole this conversation to do with me?" Merlin asked.

"It has. You've pointed out their mistakes, although you haven't been completely honest about Arthur. Am I right?" He nodded.

"Arthur keeps living in his father's shadow. He have never dared to question his decisions and he still is unable to see his father's errors." It was the first time Arthur heard him speak like that. Deep down the king knew he wasn't perfect, but that was a little too much. "But he's learning."

"And what about you?"

"Me?"

"Are you really able to complete your destiny?"

"My destiny? I will serve Arthur till the day I die."

"What if this is not your destiny?"

"It has to be."

"Kilgharrah showed you the path which was convenient to him, but it's up to you whether you follow it or not. Does it feel right? Are you happy?"

"That's not about me."

"Wait a moment. Who's this Kilgha...whatever his name is?" Arthur asked confused by the conversation.

"This is about you. The way you perceive these actions, actions that reflect upon you and upon the world, has everything to do with you. Does it feel right?"

"No...I mean I like serving Arthur, but...I just...I don't want...I can't sacrifice more….it hurts." As he spoke those words every glance in the room was directed toward the warlock.

"Make it right then. You have the right to be happy. I'll give you a chance to all of you. You'll travel in the future and you are going to meet two people who will make you see the world differently. You all have the right to be happy, but you can't do it alone. Good luck."

* * *

"What have you done, Acheflow?" The old lady asked both amused and worried.

"I've always wondered what feels like to meet your older version and realize you're going to do exactly what you think you would never do."

* * *

"You are mad on me, aren't you?" Morgana asked on a childlike tone. "Now I feel bad. I wish you had won."

"No, I'm not mad and that's how it has to be. You won and I'm okay with it." Merlin said and he pulled her closer to him.

"Yes, but you want to go."

"Though you don't and you won. You accepted to play this game and I think it's fair this way. If I had won, you would have to go despite the fact you didn't want to."

"Though, you're sad. I can't understand. I never win."

"Yet you have now. And I'm not sad, Gana."

"I feel so bad. See what you do to me. I'm sad, too. I've thought I would be happy should I win." The High Priestess cuddled in his arms. She felt really guilty.

His phone rang and Merlin let her go for a moment, so he could answer.

"Hi, Ava!"

...

"No, we're not going anymore."

...

"We got….a little busy."

...

"Thank, Ava, but I think we could handle."

...

"No, really, Ava. It's okay."

...

"Fine. Here she is." And he handed the phone to Morgana.

Morgana was unable to hear a word Avalon was saying, though she guessed what her friend might say.

"Hi, Avy! How are you?" The witch tried to avoid the subject.

"You should go. I'm not going to take no for an answer. I'll help you. Just tell me what I need to do." Avalon declared. Her voice was firm.

"Avy…"

"Okay. We'll speak later. Don't forget I'm still here."

"Do not dare to miss it." The witch heard Chris shouting. "I'm not joking, Gana. I'm really dangerous when I'm furious. Ask Avalon."

"Thanks, you troublemakers! We'll considered. Bye! See you tomorrow." Merlin interfered.

"They want us to go." Morgana said after he finished the call. "I don't know what to do. I don't want to go. But Ava seemed so enthusiastic about it. And you want to go, don't you?" He pulled her closer and laid her on the bad while covering her face and her neck with kisses.

"I don't want anymore." Merlin whispered between the kisses.

"You're ruining my make-up, Merlin! Can't you just kiss me gently. You not only ruined my lips gloss, but you spread it all over my face. And you're mad. Do not lie to me, Merlin!"

"Now, I'm not allowed to kiss you."

"No, when I'm furious."

"Fine. I leave you alone. I'm in my office. When you decide to be more cooperative you could find me there."

"But I'm sad."

"What you want me to do. You won. Is it not enough?"

"No, I don't want to win."

"But you do."

"Damn it, Merlin!"

"Okay. Bye."

Under normal circumstances he would come back and would have ruined her make-up and her hair and the bed sheets, but now he went.

* * *

"I'll go." She declared as she entered his office.

"Are you sure?"

"I don't want you to be so sad."

"I wasn't. It was your imagination. What took you so long? It usually works easily. You're such stubborn."

"What you mean?"

"I let you win because I knew you wouldn't go if I were to won. So, I let you win and you feel guilty and…."

"You blackmailed me!"

"Not really."

"This is emotional blackmail. I felt sad for you and you took advantage of my feelings."

"Honestly, Morgana!"

'Look what you're doing to me!"

"So we go?!"

"I hate…" she couldn't finish the sentence as he stole her a kiss and then another.

"I need to bath and…"he kissed her again. " Merlin, let me go!"

"Two hours."

"That's not enough."

"It has to be. May I receive a kiss."

"You've stolen enough today." And the High Priestess hurried to the bathroom while he stood there with a smile on his lips.


	2. Meeting future-self

Tell me what you think about Tangled. Would you like to know what has happened all those years?

* * *

Meeting the future-self

"What are you doing here?" The group heard a voice and soon they saw Morgana staring at them. "You haven't changed at all. Are you still the same prat, Arthur?" Although, her words were merely a joke, the group didn't feel it like that. Merlin's usual way to joke with Arthur didn't suit her, at least not anymore.

It had been a long day. The girl proved to be a sorceress and she'd sent them to a strange place with lots of noise and strange iron things that rolled over a huge stone road and awkward buildings and people who hadn't recognised him and when he'd told them he was their king, king Arthur, they thought him insane. The only good thing that'd happened was Morgana discovering she had no magic left.

They were hungry and furious and they had no shelter to sleep under and no hope for tomorrow.

Morgana had managed to run away after discovering her powers had been gone. Arthur couldn't help feeling a bit worried about her and even Merlin despite his apparent indifference couldn't help wondering if she was alright. Gwen was hungry and tired, but she endured everything as she always had. Though, it wasn't Camelot and they didn't know what creatures might lure in the shadow. They knew nothing about this world.

It was almost night when they met Morgana. Not little was their surprise upon seeing her clean cloths and her tidy hair that for longer than they couldn't remember had stopped being characteristic to her and it wasn't only that. The way the witch had done her hair and the way she'd dressed herself was strange though it was pretty similar to that of the people from this new land.

The High Priestess was wearing a pair of black jeans, high-heels, a pretty lace blouse and a leather jacket over it. She'd done her hair in a ponytail, which together with her discreet make-up helped her to enhance her beautiful features.

"Morgana?!" They uttered surprised.

"I guess it's still my name. So you met Acheflow, didn't you?" As they seemed not to understand, the High Priestess went on. "A little girl, sweet and very...prankish, let's say, yet very wise."

"It must have been her." Merlin answered. "Wait. You were there too."

"Why did you come back?" Arthur asked.

"Haven't you missed me, dear brother?" She uttered, but she didn't allow him to answer as she decided to clarify Merlin's misunderstanding. "Not really. My younger version was. Welcome to the future. Let's say a thousand and a half years later. I bet you're hungry. Come."

"Future? A thousand years? You must be joking. And by the way why are you suddenly so kind?" Merlin asked suspicious.

"You can kill people with Kindness." The High Priestess answered simply, a bit amused though.

"I guess it works….sometimes…" His voice betrayed guilt and sorrow. Definitely it would have worked with him. "There are people who hurt you and…." he bubbled "but not everybody is responsible for what happened to you. Arthur….".

Merlin hated that she always succeeded in making him feel that every bad thing that had happened was his fault. He had been decided to be vigilant when it came to Morgana, but her words had opened old wounds and he felt guilty.

"But you didn't choose kindness. You wanted revenge." Merlin said those words not because he hoped she would regret her actions, but because he needed to remind himself who he was speaking with.

The witch had long put an end to this type of subject between her and Merlin and she had no desire to bring the past alife.

"I mean literally… Take a sword, name it Kindness, kill people with Kindness."

"It's not funny." the warlock pointed out.

"You are too serious. I hate this face."

"I don't have another."

"What is it about, Morgana?" Arthur asked furious. "I don't like your game. You are scaring him. He did nothing, but care for you and you showed him only hatred and cruelty."

"As much as you know, you're right, yet you do not know everything. " She decided to stop here. She hadn't come to start a war with them after all. "But it's late now. I think we should go. Your Morgana is with a friend of mine and despite the fact I love myself a lot, I don't want to torture Avalon that much."

"Why should we trust you?" Arthur asked in his kingly way.

"Because you do not have a choice." The witch answered firmly. "You are not a king anymore in this world, but you're still responsible for your people."

"You better not try anything against them" the former king threatened. The witch just laughed. Deep down the group knew there was nothing they could do against her.

* * *

There was not much to walk and soon they were home. The house seemed cozy and joyful and so much different from everything they had seen before. It was neither as sumptuous and fancy as the castle she had used to live in, nor as poor and dirty as they imagined it to be. In fact everything was clean and tidy inside and despite being so small, it really felt like home.

It was a lovely cottage, with a front garden, with trees where birds nested and small birdhouses in every tree and many flowers. There were a lot of flowers everywhere inside and outside.

"I love flowers." Morgana explained "He used to bring me flowers everyday and he enchanted them to last, so I decided to take some courses on ikebana."

"Who is he?" The younger Morgana asked. Avalon had managed to convince her to have a warm bath and the witch had been about to have a nap too when she'd heard their voices.

She as well as her older version was fascinated by Avalon.

When the older Morgana had spotted her younger version alone and lost wandering on the road, she couldn't think at a better person to help her than Ava.

Indeed, Ava's sweet voice managed to calmed the witch down. She had been about to be hit by a car which ruled with high speed and the High Priestess was really in need of a little comfort.

They talked and eventually, Ava invited her to the older Morgana's house. The idea of meeting her future version thrilled the witch.

"The person I've never expected to do it... ever. You're lucky Acheflow sent you here. I guess you haven't met Sarrum?"

"Sarrum? He brings you…"

"No" She cried, but soon she recomposed her posture and said on a tone that denoted hatred and pain. "He was a monster. He was incapable to love. It's good you haven't met him."

"I've gained my throne back and I was about to finish my idiot brother when this girl appeared and…"

"But Emerys took your magic. You would have failed anyway." The old Morgana revealed.

"Emerys. It's him, isn't it? The Cailleach said he's my destiny and my doom." The older Morgana laughed.

"Yes, it's him. But, that's the answer to another 're such a child….Don't be afraid of him."

"So, he's not that strong? I met the old man and he seemed very powerful despite his age."

"He is powerful. Very powerful indeed. We fought year after year. He was always in my shadow, so close and yet…"

"I don't understand. This man hates me. He killed my father and…" Arthur cut her.

"He tried to save him."

"And Gwen?" Elion asked.

"He saved her life. Do you really think Arthur was enchanted?"

"He fought us. He tried to…" Gwaine added.

"He was busy and you decided to play the brave knight. He had a little fun." Morgana mocked them.

"We're kni…" Gwaine tried to speak.

"You can speak with him later. So…"

"I don't understand why you are helping them. Have you forgotten what they did to you?" the younger Morgana said furious.

"No, I haven't forgotten, I forgive it."

"Sorry, Gana. I fear I should go. I want to spend a little time with Celeste before she starts to call you mamma." Avalon felt she should go and she needed an excuse. "And I think you need to discuss these things alone. They still don't know me and..."

"Thanks, Ava. Though, I'm still mad on you. I've though you'll support me no matter what and you betrayed me yesterday."

"More reasons to go. But be honest. Was it so bad?" Morgana laughed.

"Fine. I forgive you. And don't worry about Celeste. You know it will never happen. She loves you."

"And she loves aunt Gana too. And I'm jealous."

"I think you should fear Merlin more. Celeste adores him. Really."

"Okey. Bye, Gana! Maybe you pay us a visit."

"See you soon then. Ask Celeste to call Merlin and it's done. He adores the little whirlpool." Avalon laughed lightly.

"He does. Have you considered…?"

"Avalon! Now it's not the best time and…"

"Just stop trying to plan everything. Have plan when to fall in love?"

"I've fall in love with my greatest enemy. Do you think I plan it? You don't have idea how many years I've spent trying to kill that "Emrys" and when I finally got that chance I kissed him instead of planting a knife in his heart. Though, I don't regret it."

"You fall in love with Emrys?" the younger Morgana asked shocked by what she'd heard.

"That man had over eighty." It was all Arthur could say.

"I guess I should go." Avalon muttered and she disappeared unnoticed by anyone inside, so busy were they with shouting or laughing.

Gwaine couldn't help laughing, Gwen was shocked too and Merlin was… She couldn't guess what he felt. Though her younger version was furious.

"After years of war and due to a betrayal I've find his true name. I could have killed him, but I wanted to make him suffer. I wanted to make him feel vulnerable so I took his magic. It worked to a certain degree, but he wanted him back. I followed him to the crystal cave. It was stupid. I knew he was powerful, but I wasn't thinking. It was then that we met Acheflow. She punished us, kept us locked inside the cave and when we finally got free we found ourself in the future."

"But how could you fall in love with him?" the younger Morgana asked furious.

"I don't know. It happened and it's great."

"You can't be that idiot. He must have enchanted you." Instead of answering her remark, the older Morgana took the phone and called him.

"Mister Emrys, how are you?" She said on a playful voice. The young version stopped curious, annoyed that she couldn't hear what he said.

Morgana giggled loudly.

"C'on, honey! I miss you. Can't come early today?" She giggled again. "Do not be, puffy-goofy! Just come. I have a surprise."

She went on speaking for what seemed like hours. Morgana made sure she added some "sweet" words and she giggled and laughed over and over again.

"Fine, puffy-goofy! I'll leave you to your work. I love you, puffy!" He muttered something. "Fine, I promise I'll never call you puffy again. Bye, puffy!" And they kept on for a while. Finally, Morgana ended the call and she answered to her younger version.

"Probably. But it means he loves me. Why would he do that otherwise?"

Upon hearing that the younger Morgana puffed and got out, slamming the door behind her. All she heard was Gwaine's remark.

"He's old and you're irresistible even for a young man. The question is what made you chose him."

"Patience, dear Gwaine. And better you'd be careful what you say. Have I forgotten to mention he's strong?" And she laughed lightly. "What you think, Merlin?"

"That you may be both enchanted."

"Auch! It hurt." Morgana played a little.

"But why?...Or maybe…" Merlin thought aloud.

"Maybe?" She repeated. The warlock decided to stay quiet. He needed to think it carefully.

* * *

6 years ago

Morgana found the room empty. She'd brought him the launch as she'd used to since he'd come from the hospital, but she couldn't find him. Darky was missing too. She called him out hoping he'd answer. He didn't.

"Hi! What's wrong, Gana?" She startled.

He'd scared her. The witch hadn't expected to see him. "I've thought you were looking for me."

"I did, but you scared me. Where have you been?"

"Around. I've paid a visit to Acheflow. She gave me this." And he showed her a necklace.

"What is it?"

"A cure...for Avalon. But I need your help. Would you put a spell on it?"

"Why haven't you…?"

"I did, but it's not enough. You are a healer. I want you to give this to her after than."

"You can do it yourself."

"No. I just need to go. Here!" and the warlock handled her a sheet of paper.

"To go? Where? Why? You can't. You're hurt." The witch babbled.

"I'll be alright. I just need to make some changes in my life."

"If it's because of me I'lll….I'm sorry for…"

"No, you don't have to be sorry. You need to live your life, too. You haven't those weeks. I can't watch you ruining your life. You've done enough for me."

"Will you come back?"

"Of course I will. Take care of you and Ava. You can call me whenever you feel like."

"Why are you leaving?"

"I've told you. I need some changes. Darky comes with me, by the way."

"But…"

"Take care of you." He pressed a kiss on her cheek, then he took the luggage in one hand, Darky's cage in another and got out of the room while she stood there in the middle of the room, shocked and confused.


	3. A mermaid's game

A mermaid's game

Morgana wandered alone, unsure where to go or what to do. Everything was too crowded and too noisy for her. She wanted a little peace.

The places the witch had used to know so well in the past were now different. Tired, she stopped at the little beach where once Arthur had had to pass the last challenge in order to lift the curse.

But the famous labyrinth of Gedref, about which Arthur had used to boosted so much, was gone as well as thousand of other places that reminded her of the past.

She tread over what the witch thought to be a wooden road that spread towards the sea. The sound of the wave calmed her and Morgana sat down there, surrounded by the sea, by waves and noisy gulls.

As she sat there all alone and absorbed by her problems, she noticed her shoes had got out of her foot and were tripping around.

The witch stood up and tried to catch them, but they were too fast and too small and when she was about to have them cornered, they ran again, slipping through her fingers.

She looked around, but there was no move, no noise, only the sound of the waves hitting the rocks.

It was starting to get frustrating. The High Priestess was hardly in the mood for playing and in her usual rashness, she dashed to the shoes, they ran quickly and she tumbled down in the water.

As she was going down, under the water, despite her struggle to stay over, Morgana felt two firm arms lifting her up.

"Hello, Morgana!" As the witch found herself face to face with the one who "saved" her, her first thought was to get out of his grip, but upon realizing she can't swim, Morgana put her hands around Merlin's neck and gripped him tight.

"Let me go!" She demanded although, she was the one who was holding him. "Merlin!" Morgana screamed her hands slipping on his wet skin and the witch being about to fall.

"Are you sure?" The warlock asked laughing. "Then stop holding me like that." Morgana couldn't say anything and the warlock smirked victorious. "You see. You do not want that." Then he changed the topic. "What's with that dress? Is it Halloween or something? Have I forgotten to mention I hate this dress? And what has happened with your hair?"

"What's your problem?" She answered harshed. "I demand you to took me to the shore."

"Auch! What's with this attitude, darling?" And the warlock started to play with the laces from her dress. Eventually, he managed to undo them and Morgana couldn't do anything as she was afraid not to fall in the water.

"You're an idiot, Merlin! Stop it, now." This time her voice lacked her usual firmity. Merlin just ignored her and pressed a kiss on her back.

"I've told you I don't like this dress." The situation was really awkward. He had dragged her closer to him, while his hand rested on her bare skin. As her body was linked to his, she could felt his skin close to her and she didn't dare to move.

Morgana couldn't figured out why he was acting like that. It was something about him. He was too confident and annoyingly adorable at the same time, strong, firm, maybe too strong and that scared her.

"What's up?" Merlin asked upon realizing the witch didn't answered to his kisses as he had expected. "Gana, are you alright?" The warlock demanded to know upon noticing the tears in her eyes.

"I don't understand anything." She hadn't intended to reveal her thoughts to him, but the way he'd spoken to her made her forget she actually had hated him.

Morgana told him everything, as she had been so close to gain the throne, but had met Acheflow who had sent her to this world. How her older version was a crazy lunatic who had fallen in love with her greatest enemy and she couldn't understand how it could have happened. How she didn't want this future.

"Do you think she did it because he was powerful?" The idea her future version was able to do something like that angered her even more than the possibility of her really loving Emrys.

"Are you joking, aren't you?" He said instead of an answer. His face was really precious in that moment, but the High Priestess was to wrapped in her problems to notice that.

"But you were there."

Merlin just took her close to the beach, so she could touch the ground with her foot.

"Go to the shore and turn around so I could put something on. Do not leave. I may have the answer you were looking for."

Despite the fact she wanted to run away, she stayed. Her curiosity had got the best of her.

"But you're not going to hug or kiss me."

"Oh, sorry for that. I just...It was a misunderstanding." Morgana regretted she couldn't see his face. She expected him to be embarrassed. "Now, you can turn."

"Why are you so bashful, Merlin?" It was her turn to be mean. "In the water you seemed more courageous."

"If you knew my wife, you wouldn't be courageous either."

"I don't...your wife.." the witch babbled.

"I was joking. I'm not bashful, Morgana. I just had an accident and I assure you my chest is the last thing you would like to see on this world. Come. We can talk inside."

"What?"

Morgana followed him quietly to a little cottage not far from the sea. He opened the door and invited her inside.

"Put this on." He suggested and he handed her one of his T-shirts.

"But it's…"

"You're wet." She didn't like this idea. The T-shirt was too short. Merlin guessed her thought. "Just until I bring you something else. Your older version doesn't seem to have a problem with wearing my T-shirts."

"What?"

"Nothing. Put this on. We do not want you to catch a cold."

"I'm more resilient than you think."

"Just put this on."

"Are you going to…" and she suggested him with a move of her head that he should turn.

While the witch changed, Merlin picked the phone and called the other Morgana. For a moment the younger one didn't understand who he was speaking with.

"Hello, Gana! Thanks for warning me."

"What happened?" As he was close enough to her, the younger Morgana could hear the amused voice of her future version.

"I almost kissed her, that happened." The older Morgana started to laugh. "And it's not funny. I think I scared her."

"I don't doubt that. Is it "almost" or you did kiss her?"

"I haven't known."

"Are you coming home?"

"You're upset."

"No, I'm not. Just come faster. Bye!"

The younger Morgana listened to their conversation and it made her even more confused.

"I don't get."

"Look, if you don't like this future you can change it. When you're going to return to the past, every action you'll take will change this future. But you first need to know what you want to change. Running away doesn't help. You better use this unique chance to learn your future version better."

"Do you think I should go back?"

" For now I want you to write something down." And he opened a cupboard from which he brought some sheets of paper and a pen. "You need to be in peace with the past and with yourself. Especially with yourself. I want you to describe the people who had a great impact on you, their qualities and flows. Think about some qualities of your father, both of them in fact"

"Uther is not my father."

"You have used his name so proudly for so long. He is, Morgana. And he had qualities too. Your mother, Arthur and yourself. You may add me to this list too. It's up to you. Do not forget their flaws. I'll leave you alone for a while so you can work. When I come back, I want to see them. And be honest."

"Why…"

"You'll see." If he had learned something all these years, it was that keeping Morgana curious was the best way to make her do what he wanted.

"Bye. And by the way, the T-shirt suits you."

* * *

6 years ago

He'd changed so much. She hadn't seen him since the day he'd decided to go. They'd been calling each other every night, but they hadn't met since then. And it was almost an year.

She was even much more beautiful than he remembered. Waiting there on the beach, in that lovely rainbow dress, bare-footed and so natural and childlike in every gesture she made, Morgana resembled a nymph born from the foam of the sea.

He'd missed her. That year wasn't easy at whole. Merlin had decided to get an degree on psychology and it proved to be much more difficult than he'd imagined. But he liked it. No matter how hard it was he would have never given up. He just wished Morgana was there, too. Yet she couldn't have left Avalon alone and Avalon couldn't have come with them because Chris had to stay there and Avalon and Chris… Well, it hadn't been wise to part them.

Finally, they were going to marry. They were both his friends and he could have never imagined a better person for Ava than Chris. And Ava… Finally, Chris was really happy. He'd sensed from his voice. There was no one better than Ava.

Without caring about what others may say, the witch jumped in his arms. She'd missed him.

"Will you take me with you, now?" She muttered while the witch sank her head in his chest and folded her arms around him, decided not to let him go.

* * *

They met when both had needed it the most. One cherry-red haired, the other brunette. One was calm and sweet, the other a continuous tempest. Both young and beautiful. Both so full of life and ambitious. So, the two girls soon became friends, best friends indeed.

Avalon offered Morgana the support she'd need for such a long time. Day by day, the witch got closer and closer to her new friend. Step by step she learned to trust again.

Avalon was both child and woman. Even if her body was the one of a mature woman, her sweet features, the softness and the grace her every action had, the innocence saved in her ocean-blue eyes, all of this little fragments of her very person made her a little girl caught in the body of an adult.

* * *

They had the best time in years. The wedding preparations and the emotions were tiring indeed, but they were their friends and seeing them happy made them happy too.

The day of the wedding was perfect. The sky was a forget-me-not's petal blue. That was how Avalon had described it as soon as she looked up on the sky. The blue of her forget-me-nots bouquet. She loved blue. She'd always had. That's why the maids of honor's dresses were blue...an airy light blue.

Her own dress was marvellous. She'd chosen a princess type of dress and it seemed it was the best choice ever. Well, Morgana had helped her a lot. The witch had been there all the time, offering pieces of advice and making her laugh.

The bride had her foxy long hair curled and left to hang freely over her shoulders. Her makeup was light and cheerful while the dark eyeliner highlighted the beauty of her hazel eye. Morgana magically embroidered some mini butterflies on her wedding veil and on the long train of her dress. In fact, Merlin had taught her the spell, but it was she that had done it after all.

Those days the witch spent with Avalon reminded her of how beautiful it was to love and to be loved and how much easier the life looked like when there was someone by her side. Strangely, these things, these lovely things made her acknowledged that she missed Gwen. Morgana felt a pang of regret at the thought she hadn't been at her best friend wedding. What hurt her even more was that she'd tried to hurt her...year after year she hadn't wished anything else, but to make her suffer. Yet, she wasn't ready to say it aloud.

But the past was in the past and she knew it wasn't worth crying over spilt milk. She still had a great future forward. But first she had to get Merlin back. If only it wouldn't be too late.

* * *

The night was magnificent. The wind was blowing gently, while the sound of the waves came like a melody to their ears. The sand was still warm under their bare foot, the stars shone so bright and the two of them loved to be near each other. Darky, too, seemed to enjoy every single moment . From time to time, it playfully jumped in front of them like a skilful acrobat and then it disappeared as fast as it'd come.

She wanted it to last, but she knew he would leave soon. The witch couldn't help feel sad. She still had Ava, but her friend was married now and...well, things would never be like before. So, from the very cheerful girl she'd been just a moment ago, Morgana turned strangely quiet. Merlin turned serious, too. Then he stopped, took her hand and facing her, he looked in her eyes.

"Would you come with me?" His question took her by surprise. At first, she thought she'd heard it wrong, but his smile and the way he was looking at her made it clear she'd got it right.

"You don't have idea how long I've been waiting for this question.."

"Yes or no." He cut her impatient.

"Yes. I do. I do. I do." And she threw herself in his arms and hugged him so tight as if she were afraid he would disappear any moment….


	4. All about us

All about us

Hello, Arthur!" The old Merlin greeted Arthur as he entered the door.

It was good for them to see such a friendly face. For what seemed like hours they'd lived under a constant pressure as they hadn't known what to expect from Morgana.

The Camelot team had spied every move the witch had made, every single word, so they would have been ready should she were to decide to strike. Yet, seeing Merlin there as pretty much a surprise and it was confusing, too.

"Merlin! You too?"

"Hi, Gwen, Elyan, Gwaine, Percival, Leon! Nice to meet you here!"

"You don't seem surprised." Leon noticed.

"Morgana told me some minutes ago. Sorry. I was working…"

"Playing pranks to a particular girl and kissing her." Morgana added. He ignored her instead.

"I wanted to come earlier. Hi, me! It happens to know where Morgana is. So, let's go, Merlin!"

"I…. She hates me and…" He babbled.

"Bla, bla, bla… You can better. You are going to bring her home and that's it." The old Merlin uttered firmly.

"But I…"

"There are two things you should know first and then you'll understand why it has to be you." Morgana added on a sweet tone. "Come upstairs. We need a little space. Arthur do not dare to follow us."

* * *

"I'm sorry, Morgana. I just...it's not so easy to trust people. Whole my life I've been taught to keep it hidden and…"

"It's easy to find excuses, Merlin. And that's something I do not want to hear now. Plus, I've already had this conversation with your future version. It's not me you should speak with."

"It's not that easy...and...where is she, by the way?" Merlin asked.

"Are you worried?" She teased him.

"I don't understand why he should apologize to you. He's done nothing." Arthur interfered.

"Haven't you learn not to eavesdrop? It's not polite?" Morgana said bitterly. "What are you doing here? Wasn't obvious enough that I want to speak with Merlin in particular?"

"What could you possibly speak with…?"

"Bye, Arthur!" Morgana said bored. Merlin muttered some apologies as he guided Arthur out the door and the former king had no option but to go.

"What do you want to tell me?" The warlock asked as soon as she closed the door.

"First, I want you to know that I had the slightest idea Morgause used me for that spell and second, I would have never hurt you. I couldn't have. Even if I didn't know at the time I loved you. And you broke my heart that day. All I wanted was to be loved and you chose Arthur over me."

"I….I'm sorry."

"Now you better get ready. The outfit is on the bed. If you need something call me or Merlin."

* * *

"How am I supposed to convince her?" Merlin asked as came back to the room where his friends were waiting for him. "She won't let me speak."

"Work on your instinct. Remember what I've told you. You don't have to say much." Morgana advised him and it was a sort of mischief in her voice that the warlock sensed instantly.

"She'll kill me." Merlin complained.

"So clever. It's no wonder you're going to become me." the older Merlin boosted.

"A narcissist." The witch completed, amusement in her tone.

"In case it proves useless, you can do this." And the warlock lifted Morgana quickly so he could carry in his arms.

"This is called kidnap, Merlin. Emotional blackmail, kidnap. What are you going to do tomorrow?"

"I doubt it's…" the young warlock tried to speak.

"Merlin, could you put me down?" Morgana asked calmly.

"Theoretically I can, but I do not wish to." He answered ignoring his younger ego.

"What?" The witch couldn't believe her ears. The knights, Gwen and Arthur didn't know how to react. It seemed funny and though, considering it was about Merlin and Morgana it wasn't funny at all.

"So, you don't know what "no" means. Don't worry. I'm a good guy and therefore I'm going to explain it to you. When you ask someone to do something for you, one could refuse you, you know? People doesn't have to say "yes" all the time. Well, "no" is used when you don't want to do something."

"Maybe, I haven't said it right. Please, Merlin."

"No."

"Please!"

"No"

"Pretty please!"

"No"

"Put me down immediately." She uttered on an annoyed tone.

"No."

"Shall we go?" The younger Merlin tried to change the subject.

"Are you coming with us?" The old Merlin asked the High Priestess.

"No." It was her turn to refuse.

"Come on, Gana."

"You know?! People doesn't have to say always yes." She answered this time.

"Please!"

"No"

"Please!"

"No."

"Fine. You'll come anyway." And he carried her to the car despite her visible objections. "Let's go, Merlin."

* * *

Those who remained inside didn't know what to believe. They rushed to the window and watched surprised as the trio entered the car and before they realized what was happening the iron thing had disappeared.

* * *

 _ **Three years ago**_

 _She missed him badly. Morgana had started to count the days since he'd gone. She knew it would be temporary, but she'd got used to see him everyday and each day they had to spend apart was terribly irksome and lonely._

 _They spoke daily at the phone and see each other on skype, but it wasn't enough. Just two more weeks…_

 _She had invited her friend to keep her company. She simply hated to be alone. Morgana knew she had driven her best friend crazy with her snivel._

 _They hardly got time for anything. University occupied whole of their time. They were always tired and they couldn't help sleeping whenever they got free time. Then they would study until late and the next morning would woke up early._

 _The witch spoke with him at the phone after she'd finished her courses. She usually complained about how difficult they were and about the bulk of work she had for the next day. Then the girls ate something and kept chatting about their professors until the lunch was gone and the kitchen was clean again._

 _As she was tired, Morgana decided to take a nap. Her friend would either sleep a bit too or read a book._

 _Not long after she'd fallen asleep, Morgana's friend was awaken by the sound of someone entering the house. At first she'd thought it was Morgana and she hadn't heard her when the witch had left the room, but Morgana was still asleep._

 _She was about to get down of the bed and go to see who the intruder was, when Merlin entered the room. The girl silently got down allowing him to lie next to sleepy Morgana and she watched them from distance too curious to leave the room._

 _He kissed the witch gently and waited for her to open her eyes. She couldn't believe as she saw him lying next to her. The witch had a large smile on her face and sleepy and fluffy as she was, she looked even sweeter than ever…_


	5. Write it down

Write it down

"Hi!" Merlin greeted her shyly. Morgana lifted her eyes and threw a glance to the warlock. Then she got back to her work. "Nice…shirt" He was at loss with words. Merlin had intended to make a compliment, but instead he got an angry glance.

"Hey! You weren't meant to look."

"Well...You look great." It was getting embarrassing. "What are you doing?" He asked upon noticing the sheets of paper in front of her.

"Which Merlin are you? Obviously not the old one."

"So?" And the warlock pointed towards the paper.

"What are you doing here, Merlin?"

"I've come to take you home."

"Home?"

"Listen. I know it seems strange to you. I do not understand it either, but I like it. It seems easier, much peacefull...this life...they are happy...That Morgana is…"

"Perfect?"

"Not really. I think she had her own flaws and...but she's happy. We'll return to Camelot soon. There can't be two versions….Do you want to...return...to...Camelot?"

"I bet they are better without me." Merlin didn't know what to answer, so she returned to her previous occupation.

The witch kept her eyes on the paper for a while, but she couldn't write a thing. She rolled the pen in the air, deep wrapped in thoughts. Then she rushed to write something on, but she'd changed her mind before the pen reached the paper.

By the time, Merlin had sneaked close to her and he was reading the text without being seen.

"Are you writing about me?" Merlin brought her back to reality. Morgana lifted her eyes, at first confused, then embarrassed and eventually furious.

"It's stupid." The High Priestess burst out. She took the sheet of paper, broke them into pieces and then she disappeared outside.

As strange as it might have seemed to the warlock, the witch hadn't managed to find some flaws for him. Well, she did but they were simply too banal. He picked up the pieces and united them with magic. The paper looked as if nothing had ever happened. Then Merlin added to the paper the words that were missing.

"Here." Merlin handed her the paper back. She watched him shocked. "I've filled the gaps for you. In fact I've got lots of flaws. How makes you couldn't find any?"

"It's stupid." She repeated her previous words and she turned her back towards him.

"Aren't you curious?" The High Priestess put out her hand to take the sheets of paper, but Merlin drew back his hand. "Tell me, Morgana. How makes it you hate me so much and yet you found so many qualities of mine and hardly a flaw?" She watched him surprised. "Afterall, I've thwarted you plans for more times than I could remember."

"You weren't supposed to read it. And yes, I don't know your flaws. Maybe, liar,but.. I can't deny you're loyal and courageous and clever...even if it had never been to my advantage."

"And yet you're wrong. I'm none of all the things you enumerated there. My only quality is that I'm so good at pretending" The witch tried to steal the paper from his hand. "Not so soon."

"What are you pretending right now?" She mocked him.

"Nothing. This is me or at least I think it is. I've spent so much time lying that eventually I've forgotten who I really was." She watched him, surprise wroten in her eyes. He caught her hand and kept it in his. "I wish you're right."

"You're scared."

"Aren't you, too?"

"What for?"

"Scared of being alone, unloved, misunderstood. Have you never felt that there are so many people around you and yet you were alone?" Morgana nodded captivated by his speech. "It's how I feel everyday. Yet, I still hope things will get better one day. Scare to do what you want because it may be wrong and eventually by not doing it you really do the wrong thing."

"Then do what you want. It's…" She couldn't say more as Merlin stopped her with a kiss.

"You told me to do it." He answered upon noticing her furious face.

"I don't understand."

"Neither do I, but little do I care, though." And he kissed her again.

"We're enemies and you're a poor servant and.."

"Who says?"

"What?"

"That we are enemies."

"You poisoned me."

"Yes, I did. And you betrayed me. I've thought you trusted me."

"I did."

"Why haven't you been honest? Why did you forget to mention you had met her the night before. I really thought you're innocent. I was furious when I found you weren't."

"I…"

"You didn't know, but you suspected it. I was your friend. If you thought I'm so clever and loyal, why didn't you ask for my opinion? Haven't I proved you that you could trust me?"

"You couldn't have understood. I had.."

"magic. I've made the same mistake, too. Now, do you understand how I felt? Do you have idea how it's like to have to chose between your friends, between what you want to do and what you have to?"

"Why haven't you told me?"

"For the same reason you haven't."

"Why are you so cryptic?... Trust?! I didn't know who to trust at the time, Morgause was like me."

"No, she wasn't. But eventually you became like her."

"Why did you kiss me?"

"Because I wanted to."

"But you didn't ask me if I want it too."

"I couldn't be certain you'd be honest."

"You don't know me." She tried to put him in the corner.

"In fact I do." And he showed her the sheets of paper.

Only then had she remembered she had been quite honest in describing herself and she had forgotten the paper on the desk and Merlin had found it and….

The High Priestess hadn't intended to write at all, especially about herself. She'd done it, though because none was supposed to see it. And it had been seen and read by Merlin.

"You don't have this right."

"I'm not a noble, Morgana. But you can have it, if you come home. All the things you haven't known about me in return for you giving us a second chance."

"And if I don't want to?"

"I would sit here near to you and we would look at the sea until we freeze. But you want to. The problem is you're afraid to admit it."

* * *

 _ **Five years ago**_

 _A new town. A new life. She couldn't help feeling a bit nervous and happy, though. Finally, they were going to start a life together. Why had they needed so much time?_

 _Morgana dressed up very carefully. She thoroughly chose the cloths and the accessories so to look great. It was just a too special moment for not paying enough attention. After hours of packing and unpacking in the search for the best outfit, the witch finally decided to have a airy summer dress, with a polka-doca pattern. She ran for a natural makeup in order to apply a fresh air to her look._

 _She hardly spoke during the trip. He left her alone with her own thoughts and drove quietly. Part of her felt sorry for leaving the places where she'd spent so many time; the places where Ava and Chris were and where she'd learnt to love again. The other part of her was excited. She threw a glance at Merlin. He felt it and answered with a fugitive glance. She smiled._

* * *

 _She stepped in. He followed her closely, watching her every move. The witch was thrilled. The house was nothing compared to the castel she'd used to lived in, but it was their house...THEIR HOUSE._

 _A place where she could do everything she wanted. She could crazly sing and dance late at night without being afraid to disturb someone. She could forget about manners and rules. It was their house. Their very house where they were going to escape that crazy world._

 _It would be only the three of them._

 _As she entered, Morgana was welcomed by Darky. She tickled him on his belly and the little creature started to purr happy to see Morgana. He'd got plump and really heavy._

 _He brought the pieces of luggage in and then he invited her to see the house. The witch had thousands of plans in her mind. She thought about the friends she would invite in their small living-room and how they would gather all there, some crowded on the sofa, others down on the carpet, eating the popcorn she would learn to cock and watching a comedy. Or how the girls would stood under a blanket and would watch a horror movie while the boys would amuse themselves by scaring them._

 _She studied the kitchen and the witch imagined the cookies she would prepare and how she would waited for him to come from work. She would offer him cookies and he would kiss her happy to see her again and he would tell her he'd missed her and she would answered she'd missed him too. Then they would speak about their day and they would end up laughing._

 _There were just so many recipes the witch wanted to try. She would go shopping every morning. She would probably learn to drive a car._

 _And he would bring her flowers. There would be many flowers all over the place. They would have a garden too and a small porch where they would have potted flowers and a little table and two chairs. They would have their breakfast there in the weekends._

 _She climbed up the stairs. The chambers were bright and cheerful. Here and there were pictures on the wall; their photos and pictures representing thrilling landscapes and gracious animals. There was no room where she couldn't find any potted plant._

 _Morgana entered the first room the spiral stairs led to. She loved the way he'd decorated it. The colour of the wall, the simple and yet lovely furniture, plus the way every piece of furniture was settled on the room. Tiny details such as the pattern of the bed sheets, the small flowers on the wooden shelf near the window, the china lady-bugs, tortoises and dragons hidden under the leaves of the flowers, all those things made her feel finally at home._

 _Near that room was another room Merlin had his books in and which he'd designed to be a studying place. Just above the mini-bed where one could lazily lie on their back and read a book was a huge window settled on the thatched-like roof. Morgana couldn't help wonder how lovely it would have to be to lie there at night and watch the stairs._

 _The room was full of books and yet there was still place for others to be put there; her own. She was decided to apply for medical school and that would mean many, many books._

 _That mini-bed was just near one of those huge bookshelves so one could just take a book without being forced to stand up. The wall near to the studying table was decorated with the map of the world and on each side of the map were another bookshelves full of books and papers._

 _Between the two rooms was a small bathroom (the actual bathroom was downstairs), decorated as for a ,,dwarf", but it could be used by a ,,big man'' as well. Morgana couldn't help thinking it would be perfect for the moment they would have kids._

 _The other bedroom was downstairs. It was bigger and less colourful than the other. Instead it had walnut wooden furniture and huge curtains at the window. The flowers weren't absent either, but there were exotic and bigger species._

 _And, of course, somewhere in the living-room was Darky's own place where he had his toys and his basket._

* * *

 _Merlin offered to prepare the lunch while she was taking a nap._

 _As she wasn't in the mood to open her luggage, the witch borrowed something from Merlin's wardrobe. The wardrobe was almost empty as he had transferred his stuffs in the bedroom downstairs. He'd expected she would love more the room from the mansard and so he'd prepared the room for her. Yet she found one of Merlin's T-shirts and she decided to have it._

 _Morgana felt really tired, but she couldn't help admiring the blue sky while lying on the fluffy bed. Eventually she fell asleep._

 _He came to invite her at the lunch, but as he found her asleep, the warlock magically covered her with the blanket and then he disappear as quietly as he'd come._

 _When the witch wake up it was already late. She passed by the "library" on her way to the kitchen. The door was ajar and from the room came Merlin's voice._

 _"Good morning, sleepy head." She mumbled something too sleepy to speak and entered the room. She was still wearing his T-shirt. Merlin asked her if she were hungry and as she nodded, the warlock led her to the kitchen, ordered her to sit and started to put the food on the table._

 _She was really hungry and the food was in fact very teasty. She just loved to be spoilt._

 _After that they made a walk around the place. They met many lovely neighboors who acted very nicely around her and who promised to help her if she were to need it. They had also invited Morgana to pay them a visit. They even got some cookies from one of them._

 _Merlin took her hand in his. At first it made her feel a bit awkward as she hadn't been used to this new stage of their "relationship", but she liked the way his hand felt on her own. It made her feel safe and warm._

 _They spent the night speaking and joking. She hadn't felt like going to sleep. She had a shower, removed her makeup, washed her teeth and changed into pijemas, but as she was about to entered her room, the witch saw light coming from the other room and she decided to go to him. And so she went there and he abandoned his book for her; and they spoke and spoke until she was too tired to keep her eyes opened and she fell asleep on the mini-bed._


	6. When you left me alone

When you left me alone...

 _Six_ _years_ _earlier_

"Hello, Acheflow! I need your help." Morgana begged her as she entered the crystal cave. The High Priestess was tired while her face revealed signs of a great conflict inside of her.

"I guess you do." The girl answered calmly.

"Could you help him? I can't see him like that."

"Then don't look. Wait, it's been awhile since you visited him last time." Acheflow provoked her.

"I've made something stupid and...he may know about it...I can't face him. Please, help me. He's in pain and…I can't lose him."

"May he die?" The girl asked simply like she was speaking about the weather or her new toy.

"No. Avalon said he'll live."

"There are thousand of people who suffer in this world, Morgana. Thousands of mothers, fathers, sons, daughters, sisters, brothers, friends, wives, husbands who pray so the one they love will recover. There are thousands of people who suffer as much as him. Not all are lucky. So, tell me why should I help him? What makes him so special?"

"He's Emrys."

"It doesn't mean anything to me."

"Please, I can't use my magic. He means a lot to me."

"Why are you here, then? If he were to mean more than your stupid pride, you would not be here, wasting your time with me."

"But…"

"You may never get another chance, Morgana. You may not be able to use magic, but you could be there for him. Decide what matters more: he or your pride!"

* * *

"Morgana! 'Gana!" She looked at him. "Are you alright? You seem nervous." Merlin tried to calm her and he grabbed her hand. The witch could hardly sit on her chair.

"Do you think Acheflow will help us?"

"Why not? I just want to know what her plan is." She smiled. "What have you done?"

"What I've done?"

"You tell me. Why are you so nervous about meeting her?" The High Priestess hated so much when he managed to read her mind.

"Let's eat something then." She changed the topic.

"Better we wait her. So you have enough time to tell me what you did, because I know you did something."

"Thanks, Merlin." It was Acheflow. "It seems you haven't forgiven me." She addressed to Morgana. "Did she told you?"

"I asked her to heal you. She refused. That's all." Morgana resumed the story.

"I sent her to you. I thought you'd prefer her company to mine."

"It took her a while to realize that." He pointed out.

"Hey! I'm still here."

"Do you want to eat something?"

"Well, Merlin, I was a bit surprised when you invited me to a restaurant. Why here?"

"We're hungry and don't worry about these people. If you act naturally, they won't suspect a thing."

"I'll have an ice cream, then. Chocolate and mint." Acheflow answered smiling.

* * *

The Camelotions started to get impatient and they decided to study the house. They went to kitchen where they found some fruit on the table. As the group was hungry, they ate the fruit and looked for more to eat.

Gawain found the fridge. He had no idea what it was, but eventually he managed to open it. It was full with food. Arthur got a bread and some croissants, Gwen discover the plates and the cups, Leon, who initially had opposed to the plan, brought some jars with pickles from the cupboard, Elyan came with silverware, napkins and a tablecloth and Percival searched the oven which despite being so difficult to open, was completely empty.

Half and hour later there was no food left. Gwen tried to clean the kitchen, but she found no broom to sweep and no water to wash the dishes. Eventually, Arthur convinced her to give up and they decided to go up stairs.

* * *

 _ **After the accident**_

 _Merlin had really waited to go home. He'd been sick of being in hospital. He'd been sick of that horrible smell of medicine, of the pain he'd seen around him; he was even sick of being treated as if he hadn't been able to do a single move without help._

 _The pain was still horrible; so horrible than despite his decision to avoid drugs he had to keep on with taking painkillers. What despised him even more was that pity was the only feeling he was able to awake in other's people souls. The warlock didn't need pity._

 _Even Morgana was acting strange. It's true he'd played a little with her as he could decide whether to keep her close or to let her go. Merlin didn't want to destroy her life. Not again._

 _Yet he didn't want to let her go. For the first time, the warlock realized that he wanted her more than anything._

 _What she felt wasn't only pity, but also guilty. Guilty for causing him pain and guilty for allowing him to see that. So he had pretended not to see it._

 _At first, he'd wanted to offered her a clean slate and it was great, but he soon realized that it was only a play where both of them were given their best to act wonderfully their part, but as soon the curtains would fall, they would go back to being different people that they'd been in the play. Plus the warlock felt he was abusing of her feeling even if what she felt was only pity and maybe guilt or was it something more?_

 _In fact, when it came about Morgana he didn't know what to believe. She'd kissed him at hospital, she'd wanted him to live. Yet there were moment when she made him feel like a burden._

 _That kiss had made him see world differently. He'd expected her to come; he'd expected that he would matter more than her vanity. Yet he was wrong. Whatever she'd felt it wasn't enough._

 _Merlin felt frustrated that he had to spend whole that in a bed and wait for someone to bring him food or help him dress and undress. The back hurt him too badly to leave the bed._

 _Chris usually came to help him. He'd taken vacation until his friend would be able to take care of himself. Chris just hoped his vacation would be enough time for Merlin to get well. Merlin was glad it was Chris and not a complete stranger who would care just for the money he would get. Chris was his friend; the person he could speak about anything and so it was easier to deal with the pain and frustration. Chris was the only one who had really saw Merlin at his worst, when the pain got unbearable and the painkillers didn't ease it atall._

 _The painkillers made him sleepy which was good because the pain wouldn't let him sleep otherwise, but they only calmed him for a while. It was enough to move a single muscle for the pain to start again. So, he hardly sleep. Chris had improvised a bad of pillows so Merlin's back wouldn't touch the bed._

 _The skin on his back hadn't been as damaged as had that from his chest, but yet any touch made the pain unbearable. It wasn't comfortable, but it was better than without. Avalon had bought different types of pillows, any size and form she'd managed to find only to lessen his pain._

 _And he was alone the most of the time. He hated to be alone, but he also hated to call for help. He was strong enough to handle it himself._

 _He tried to read, but he was just too weak for reading; his eyes were sore, his spirit lacked both the patient and the interest for the story and it was the pain that didn't allow him to concentrate. His hands were only blisters and he could hardly use them. Even turning the page was a living torture. And as if it hadn't been enough, the bandages made it even difficult to do a thing. Yet he had the magic and he didn't have to use his hands, but it didn't make up for the warlock started to watch films, but it made him fall into a deep depression._

 _He'd roden horses, fought both with magic and swords, he'd lived the most amazing adventures one could live in a life and suddenly he had to accept that he couldn't leave the bed, that he was weak and useless for those he was supposed to protect. He'd lost the very purpose of his life…_

 _Sometimes he felt like shouting at Morgana for not letting him pass away. The warlock knew he'd become very difficult and grumpy. He hated being alone even for a few minutes and when someone was around he wished to be left alone._

* * *

 _Merlin had become very difficult; moody, impossible to please no matter what one would do, always tensed and unhappy. And so Ava decided Merlin needed a new friend he could find comfort spending his time with._

 _She found a tiny young orphan kitty which just needed someone to take care of it. The little guy was just some days old, its mother's owner had thrown him away because he believed that black cats were in fact devils in disguise. Ava had rescued the little creature and in charge Merlin with feeding it._

 _They got very fond of each other. Merlin had put put the kitty's basket on his bed (by using magic) and he spent the most time watching his new friend. A week later the little guy showed the most beautiful blue baby eyes one had ever seen._

 _When he was allowed to lie on the bed, Darky -as it was named- just stood there and studied Merlin. Soon, though, it turned into a little devil. There was no way to convince it to stay still. Darky was just so keen on exploring the world despite being so clumsy. So Merlin had to watch it permanently so the tiny silly creature wouldn't get hurt._

* * *

 _She felt tired and empty. She couldn't hold back the tears as she lay in the bed, holding tightly his pillow in her arms. Morgana had known he'd been in pain, but that… He hadn't complained at all, but she'd felt it. She'd seen it in his face, in the way he'd spoken. He wasn't the same._

 _No matter how much the thought he might remember that kiss scared her, the witch wished he'd remembered her. It'd been nice. They'd spoken like two friends but it'd made her feel like she'd spoken with a stranger. She missed the days they'd quarreled; she missed the days he'd used take care of her; the days when he'd used sleep so peacefully that she couldn't help wishing she'd been in his arms. He was simply adorable even if she didn't want to admit it._

 _Now she was afraid to be alone with him. She didn't know what to do or say. The pallor of his face made her blood run cold in her veins._

 _She'd wanted to help, but the witch realized she wasn't able to do a thing without him. When she tried to cook, Morgana forgot the food in the oven and there was hardly something left that could be eaten. She knew nothing about how to use the washing machine (or about washing as she combined dark cloths with white ones, destroying the latter) or how to vacuum the carpet and iron the shirts._

 _She'd been alone for longer than she could remember and she'd been forced to cook and clean herself, but now she really wanted to make it perfect and everything she'd done was far from perfect._

 _Avalon'd explained her everything and helped her with everything, but Morgana didn't allow her to work. Ava needed to be taken care of and not the other way round. The witch would never forgive herself if anything would happen to her friend._

 _She needed Merlin more than ever. If only she could have turned time back. She wouldn't have made the same mistakes…._

 _Morgana was really excited about having Merlin back home. She'd been sick of that hospital and of those stupid nurses that always had to tell her what to do when she was with Merlin. They'd always accused her of getting him tired._

 _The truth was there were days when he hardly spoke with her. Days when he was just so tense and nervous that no matter what she had done nothing would have pleased him. Everytime he'd been rude and moody, Morgana swore to never come back. Why she had always broken her promise, she could have never explain._

 _Eventually, he refused to receive her everytime he didn't feel well enough to speak with her. His nurse would usually call her to tell the witch when to come, but even though, the visit would be short and he would never say a thing about himself. When she asked him how he felt, he answered pretty short that he was fine and then he changed the topic by asking about herself, Avalon and Chris._

 _The witch spent whole day to prepare the room. She cleaned it, brought some nice flowers so it would smell lovely in the room, chose some cheerful bedsheets, bought new books for Merlin so he wouldn't get bored and tried to cooked his favorite dishes. Merlin hardly ate it. Morgana never knew that he simply was unable to eat a thing. The pain was just too horrible that it made him sick. His stomach would refuse any kind of food._

* * *

 _Things didn't change. Morgana didn't do anything else, but keep him company and only when he was in mood for speaking. The nurse kept coming to clean his wounds and bandaged them again. That was one of the moments Merlin hated the most and it happened everyday._

 _The very thought of having a bath frightened him. The bandages sticked so badly on his skin than removing them meant removing his own damaged skin and water mixed with blood poured down his body, water that burnt him as it touched his wounds. It didn't matter how cold it was, the burning was still there._

 _Chris was giving his best to help too. He was the only one Merlin would accept when being moody._

 _There were days when Merlin asked her to describe the day or to tell him about what she'd seen and done. He didn't like to speak (she would have never expected that), but he started to like to listened to her talking about anything. Sometime he scolded her for staying at home when she should have visited the city with Ava. Another day he forced them to promised they would go to London. Chris was sent with them too. Merlin claimed to be well enough to handle alone and he didn't give up until they left. When they returned Morgana was forced to tell him what they'd seen there._

 _When he started to get well, Merlin focused on finding a cure for Ava. So he spent whole the time reading or searching on internet. Morgana saw him only during the dinner. Everytime she tried to visit him, he sent her to visit the town or buy another dress._

 _Sometimes she was jellows on Darky. The cat was always around him and he never sent it aways as he did with her._

 _After he'd gone, she simply wasn't able to find a purpose for her life. Ava and Chris kept dragging her from a city to another. She was happy to see them together, but she missed Merlin even if she spoke often at the phone with him. She missed him and if she had known where to find him, she would have run instantly at him._


	7. May 4th

May 4th

"Do you think he's in there?" Gawain asked and he stepped back from the door.

"He who?" Arthur said on a nervous tone. He didn't really like the situation.

"The old man." Gawain pointed out.

"I don't think it's a good idea to enter. Let's go back! Morgana said to wait." Gwen tried to prevent them. "I'm scared, Arthur." Soon she acknowledged her mistake as she met his glance. He hadn't forgiven her or he was struggling to make her believe that. "Boys, let's get back!"

"Follow me!" Arthur commanded the knights. "Maybe, we could find more about this sorcerer. He may know why Morgana turned against us, after all."

"I haven't seen Morgana so happy and friendly for a long time. Maybe, I beg pardon, Sir, maybe, this sorcerer is…" Leon tried to speak his mind to the group. To say that a magic being is not evil was treason and he'd known that whole his life, yet he couldn't stop thinking they all could be wrong.

"Morgana is in fact a different person. She's so much like my friend, though much more confident and stronger. What if we're wrong about magic?" Gwen spoke for both of them. "Morgana said the old man had saved my life and he'd also tried to save your father's life and he may have changed her, too, saved her."

"I promised him I would return magic back. I never got the chance to speak with him. I wanted him dead and he ran and my father died...This is the chance. Let's go."

"You can't be so arrogant, Arthur." Gwen cried out. "You have no right to treat him like that. This is his house and I think we should show some respect."

"Fine. I'll knocked." There was no answer. The king waited for a moment then he opened the door and entered. The first thing they saw was a white little dragon between the pillows. It took them a while to realize the dragon was a toy. Gawain even though it was nice.

Gwen was captured by one of Morgana's dresses, a lovely white one Gwen had found in a carton box. Over the dress there was a bouquet of flowers and a photo.

There were Morgana and Merlin very happy between the branches of a pink blossomed cherry tree. They were both up in the tree, she sitting on the branch from the right, her long white dress making her look like a nymph and he on the other branch on the left, in a dark outfit and with a playful smile on his lips. Between them a dark cat with chihlimbar eyes was sitting majestically. On the other side of the photo Gwen could read the following words:

If one day I'll be too fat and too old to play this game, remember that years ago I climbed up trees in this dress.

 _May_ _4th_ _2014_

"She's so beautiful." Gwen exclaimed.

"She has always been stunning. And she has always loved to climb. But I have the slightest idea how she managed to get there while wearing such a dress." Arthur pointed out. "Do you think she's back?"

"She has definitely changed. Maybe, Merlin could tell us more. But you must be careful, Sir." Leon warned him. "I can't understand her."

"Neither do I." Gwen said melancholically. "But I miss her." There was no answer. None of them wanted to be hurt again.

"This bed is pretty comfortable." Gawain said as he let himself sink in the pillows. He felt it was vital to break the silence.

"Gawain" The group shouted in a single voice. He took the little dragon and put it on his chest.

"The dragon is safe." He assured them.

"What if someone comes and sees you?" Gwen couldn't help worrying.

"Come on. This is our chance. Don't be so grumpy. Why don't you try the dress? I know you like it." He addressed to Gwen.

"It's not mine."

"We better go downstairs." Leon suggested. "Gwen is right. They offered as a shelter and it's not fair what we're doing."

"You're worse than MERLIN." Arthur cried exhausted. "I'm going to have another glass of juice. I really love this juice. Do you want some?"

"I have a bad feeling about this juice."

"Let's see what we can find next."

* * *

It was getting cold, yet the two sorcerers were still outside on the seaside, watching the waves going up and down.

Morgana startled as he put his coat over her shoulders. Merlin answered with a smile.

"Do you want to go inside? They must come here soon." The warlock tried to reach her.

"I guess you can't always have what you want."

"We can try, though. If you were to put an end to this war and…"

"And you? What are you willing to do?"

"What do you want me to do?"

"Something. Anything. You told me we'd found another way, but I see no other way. Even if Arthur were to accept me, I can't give up what I'm. I can't hide and watch my kin die while I pretend that I'm not like them."

"Arthur will change it, but I need your help."

"When? I can't wait, Merlin. Come with me! We can build a new world. I will leave Camelot alone. I promise, but help me save my kin. Help me bring magic back."

"Arthur will…"

"I'm sick of your Arthur." Morgana burst out. "Why has he to be always between us? I'm not going to be thrown away again because of him."

"Morgana, don't ask me to choose!" Upon hearing that the witch stood up furious and she threw his coat at his face.

"You're a nobody...an ordinary peasant. You could have been somebody...I would have offered you anything you wish for…"

"What about understanding? You ask me to give up on my friend. I can't leave him. He needs me and so does Camelot. I don't care I'm a nobody. I don't want wealth and power. I don't need such things. All I want is you support and your understanding. Is it so much?"

"I don't need your promises, Merlin. Do something. Prove me your king is worth being saved! Prove me there is hope for magic! Make me choose you path or get out of my way."

"Give me time." He tried to negotiate with her. She knew he could see her tears and it made her feel vulnerable. Part of her wanted to let him see her, the real her, but he'd rejected her and it hurted.

"So it's Arthur, isn't it?"

"I don't want to choose."

"Fine." And she pushed him in the water. "Hope you'll freeze there." She cried at him. "And caught a cold and...die. See if someone cares."

* * *

"Finally, you come" The old Morgana greeted her as she entered inside the house. She'd been watching them for while.

"Let's go home." The old Merlin added. "Where is the young Merlin?"

"In the water." The old Morgana answered for her.

"Hope he'll freeze and die." Morgana cursed him. The old Merlin just laughed, which annoyed her even more, but the old Morgana advised her to stay calm. As Merlin entered, wet and shivering his old version couldn't help but bursting into laughters again.

"You have a lot to learn, boy. But first of all you need to get home, both of you."

"Come." Old Morgana encouraged them. Tension was still in the air, but the couple had seen enough to worry about it. After all, their younger versions were dealing better than they had years ago.

"I guess you want to know Acheflow's plan" Their reaction was as he'd expected. They were interested. He saw it in their eyes. "I'll tell you home."

Disappointment….


	8. Philisophy

Philosophy

"What have you done, Arthur?" Gwen couldn't help but being furious as she saw the heap of paper sheets soaked with cherry juice, on the desk.

Arthur hadn't meant to spill the juice. He'd just put the glass on the desk so he would be able to study the room. At first, the king hadn't noticed the huge map which designed the desk, preoccupied by what could have been found in the room.

The knights focused their attention on the books, but soon they got bored as they couldn't understand a thing. Not even Arthur showed more willingness to read a book, but instead he'd managed to find a chocolate dragon hidden on the bookshelf. But he let it. On the label it was clearly specify it shouldn't be eaten (one of Merlin's favorite jokes, apart from changing the label on his favorite cookies with those from Darky's food which resulted in Morgana giving cookies to the cat). Eventually, they spotted the map and it captured their attention immediately.

Preoccupied to find Camelot on the map, Arthur hit the glass which fall over the paper sheets, ruining them. Now they were all scared as the group guessed the documents may have been important.

"Bravo, Princess" Gwaine mocked him. "Now even the old Morgana will want us dead."

"I think we should speak with Merlin, the old Merlin. Maybe he can help us." Gwen suggested. "We should have never come here. What if it's important?"

"I bet it's important." Leon added. "Have you read it?"

"Why didn't they locked the door?" Arthur tried to pass the blame. "If this document were important, the door would have been locked, wouldn't it?"

"I don't think they have ever suspected you'd pass by and spill the juice on it." Gwaine ruined his hopes.

"Merlin lives here and he's clumsy and…" But as he saw his friends' faces Arthur knew it was stupid to went on. "Let's get out of here. Maybe, they won't notice."

"I doubt that." Elyan finally spoke his mind. He'd avoided as much as possible any conflict with them, but he knew for sure the king was lying himself. "Better we apologies to Morgana. Maybe, she'll…"

"She'll kill us. I know her since we were kids. There's no way."

"Well, you didn't suspect she'd betray you." Elyan added. "It's better to tell her now than she were to find it later."

"I forbid you to tell a word." The king commanded. "Now, let's go down stairs."

"Waw, such good kids we have!" The old Merlin teased the group upon his arrival home. It would have been hard not to , as they were standing quietly in the living-room waiting for he and Morgana to come back. "I bet you're hungry."

"Do you bet?" Gwaine laughed and rubbed his belly content. The warlock put the pizzas he'd bought on the table and invited them to join him.

"We didn't have time to cook." Morgana apologised for the meal. "But I have a feeling you'll love the food anyway."

The group gathered around the table, all apart from young Morgana, who despite being hungry, refused to join them. She was sitting alone in a chair far away to the group, grumpy and resentful. Old Merlin mentally advised his young version to bring her some food. The young warlock was confused, but old Merlin commanded him to go and mocked him for being such a coward while none suspected a thing.

She initially had refused the slice of pizza Merlin had brought her, but eventually the witch ate it. She was too hungry. The old Morgana couldn't help spying on them. They reminded her so much of herself and Merlin, yet she hoped they wouldn't make the same mistakes.

"When will we go back?" Gwen asked, suspecting that the old Merlin knew more he let to be seen.

"Why such a hurry?" the old Merlin scolded them "Your problems will still be there when you arrive."

"My kingdom needs me." Arthur answered his question.

"Acheflow stopped the time. You'll return to the exact moment of you departure." He caught their confused faces and guessed it was a bit too complicated to explain. "We have an year to teach you how to work together for yours and the kingdom's sake."

"I want nothing more, but work together, yet I see no way. As long as my own sister will wish me dead so she could take the throne, there's no way out of it." Arthur declared.

"What am I doing here?" the young Morgana asked "He's right. There's no way we'll ever work together." And she stood up ready to go.

"Only time can say." The old Merlin put an end to their argument. "Sit down, Morgana. You'll need all of you in order to succeed."

"They both want the throne. None will give up. At least they have something in common." Young Merlin tried to joke. Instead he got the attention of the siblings. Aware of it, he went on "How are we going to put an end to it? Split the kingdom in two equal pieces like it were a toy and give each of them their rightful piece?"

"It's not such a bad idea." The old Merlin laughed.

"I was joking." the young warlock said. "You can't do that, can you? Each of them claims to be right and yet..."

"And they're both right. If one is to listen one of you telling your stories, but only a single version, no matter whose, they will agree with the one they listened. Only a wise person will look beyond what they hear. That's the problem, we can't feel what others feel. We empathise, but this is less than enough. More, we are willing to empathise with people that are somehow similar with us. We think we feel their pain, but in fact it's our pain we feel, because we may have lost something and we imagine (I said imagine, which means we may be wrong) how much it hurt them or we are afraid of losing something and the very thought makes us suffer (but we haven't lost it yet, so we can't know). Do you get what I say?" Judging by their faces it was clear they'd got something, but not enough.

"Then we should listen both of them and see which is right." Young Merlin came with a solution.

"Yes, but how many of this people have magic? So, how would they be able to understand something they've never been through?" Young Morgana interfered.

"Good question, Morgana. And there's also a problem. They are Arthur's friends and it's hard not to speak about bias, no matter what they may say. People can also change. They "grow up", become more resilient, they harden themselves and eventually they turn harder and harder to reach. When you get to the point you have nothing to lose" and he watched Morgana as he said it "or to point you know there's nothing you can't do because you've trampled over your heart when you cross your limits and everything you've got is a great hole where it used to be kindness and love" this time he threw a glance to his young version " then you forget how it feels to be human. Nothing stays in your way then. Wishes turn into obsessions and peace turns into struggle because you want to be whole again, but what is lost is lost for ever, only fear reminds you that you're still human. Not even your memory can help you because you see the past through the eyes of the new you. "

"It is an illusion, though." Old Morgana spoke. The group watched her confused, questions written on their faces. "That this very thing you fight for is worth selling your soul, your happiness. You can't live a lie."

"So, I'm fighting a lost war?"

"That's what we'd thought before I heard you saying something like "why he has always to be between us". We knew someone who has magic, the problem was to find a person who cares for both you and Arthur, and to have magic at the same time." Old Morgana explained her. Yet, her younger version was more confused while the young warlock couldn't help exclaiming a "You're joking." resulting in him gaining the attention of everyone inside. "We're not, Merlin." Morgana teased him.

"But the aim is not to convince a judge you're right, it is to convince yourself you're wrong, to admit the other is better and to help him be better, to forgive they, but first of all, to forgive yourself." Old Merlin said, but he stopped to answer his phone. After a while he came back. "Now is late and you must be tired. For certain, I am and tomorrow is a big day for me. I have a heap of paper sheets waiting in my office." Upon hearing that Arthur couldn't help but feel a bit awkward while he knew that every glance in the room was directed towards him. Maybe he was paranoiac.

"Morgana will teach you how to use the bathroom while I will bring you some blankets and pillows. Boys, you're going to sleep here. You decide who sleeps on the couch. Gwen will have a room upstairs."

"Wait. Do you know such a person?" Young Morgana tried to find more."

"We do." Old Merlin said simply.

"Emrys?" He nodded. "But he doesn't care for me."

"I won't say that." Old Merlin replay. "What do you think, Merlin?"

"I…"

"Well, it's obvious. He married my old version." Young Merlin breathed out relieved unaware young Morgana noticed his reaction. Yet she didn't say a word.

"I'm going to make the bed." old Morgana announced them.

"I can do it myself." Gwen interfered. "I mean...thank you, but it's to kind and…"

"Come then. I'll show you where to find the bedsheets and the bathroom."

"And you two" and pointed Merlin and Morgana "you'll have another room next to Gwen's."

"Can't he sleep here?" Young Morgana burst out.

"I don't have enough space for each of you. So, you have to share a room with someone else." Old Merlin clarified.

"But Gwen…"

"It wasn't appropriate to ask her to share her room with a man. I hope you agree."

"But I'm a woman too."

"But you don't have a problem with things which are unappropriate, do you?"

"He's a servant." she tried desperately.

"Should I remind you that Camelot is gone in this world and none of you is king, queen, knight or servant anymore? Should I remind you that you have no shelter, no food and no money… well, gold? Is it necessary to tell I don't care a thing about your past, but about what you can do to pay what I offer you? Any argument, my lady?" He really managed to scare her, so all she could do was stay quiet. "Good then. Do you prefer a knight, Morgana?"

"Please, I will find somewhere to stay. She can have the room." young Merlin tried to negotiate.

"I've thought it through and this is the best option we have." Old Merlin said firmly. "Tomorrow I want to see the beds made and the rooms tidy. Is it clear? Good night, then! You two, come with me!"

* * *

 ** _5 years ago_**

 _It wasn't supposed to be easy. In fact, "easy" was hardly a word that defined the witch. Yet she'd never expected it would be so hard._

 _Morgana sat down at her study table, surrounded by books and anatomy atlases, trying the memorize the complicated chemical formulas and the tongue twister words that defined different parts of the human body. It was impossible._

 _She had to give up on her plans concerning cookies and anything else but studying. If it hadn't been for Merlin, she wouldn't have eaten at all._

 _There were times when she simply fell asleep on her books. She wake hours later just to realize that it was too late to go back to study. Usually, the witch wake up in her bed, well wrapped in her blanket. Yet each time she was too asleep to wonder how she'd got there._

 _So she just look at the clock and then she put her head back on the pillow. The next morning she would curse the alarm, but she still had a few hours since then._

 _During the weekends or whenever he had time, Merlin helped her with her studying. He usually put her questions and explained the parts she hadn't got. Morgana was really surprised how well he handled it. It was true he was allowed to take a look over the theories, but even though he was really amazing._

 _When he wasn't helping her, the warlock was cooking or studying. Psychology wasn't an easy discipline either as new challenges were always prone to arise and the solutions couldn't be found all the time in the books._

 _Once in a while, Darky sneaked in the room, jumped on the table and he started to play with her pencil or he just cuddled on her lap or, his favourite, he stretched on her notebooks. Sometime, he even brought his toys with him._

 _It was really nice to have them close, encouraging her, showing their love in the most unexpected ways, from a little cuddle to having her favourite dinner prepared._


	9. Victory

Victory

I'll deal myself with them. Go, finish your presentation." Old Morgana sent him away.

"Fine. I'll go then. Should you need something…"

"Yes, yes, yes…" and she took the mountain of blankets and pillows from his arms.

"Boy, give her a hand." Merlin called.

* * *

Young Morgana spied her all this time waiting for the right moment. When she finally saw her alone, young Morgana showed herself.

"What are you doing here?" Her old version asked friendly.

"Please, I don't want to share the room with Merlin. Can't you help me?"

"Why not? He's clever and handsome and you like him. What's wrong?"

"Are you joking?"

"I heard you today. I know you want proves and it's natural to question his love, but you can't ask him to give up his friends."

"Wasn't I his friend? He gave up on me."

"He was furious and he felt betrayed and when you came back he was too afraid to be honest. Never ask him to choose. That's what he hates the most. There are other ways to force him. All he craves is understanding. He wants someone he can be himself with. Be that person. And he would never let you go. He would eventually choose or he would find a way to have you both."

"What if there's no other way?"

"Merlin is very stubborn. He will find it no matter what, just make him believe it's possible. All he needs is to be pushed a little. Encourage him when he feel low, love him when nobody else cares for him."

"And what about me? Who will care for me?"

"Let him know what you want. He would protect you. Merlin is more stronger than you think. Ask for attention even if you can live without it. Smile for every flower he offers you. Play with him. Be yourself when you are with him and let him know he's the only one who has even seen you like this. Make him believe he's special, that he knows things that some people only dream of."

"And they think I'm the evil one."

"I have thousands of such tricks." She laughed. "And Morgana. He is really special."

"I know."

"Do you want something else?' Young Morgana wanted to go, but then she changed her mind.

"He is Emrys, isn't he?"

"He's not special because of that."

"Yeah. He lied to me...all this time. Yet you forgave him."

"I didn't want to lose him."

"Neither do I, but...it hurts. He didn't trust me. Do you still have those sheets of paper? I haven't read them yet."

"Sure. Wait a moment!" But she didn't have to go as her husband gave them to her younger version. "Merlin! Has nobody told you not to eavesdrop?"

"I was considering whether I should kill the one who spilt juice on my project or should I torture him before. If it hadn't been for my magic, I would have to write it again. Don't worry. I haven't heard you telling her to play with my younger version and use all those seduction tricks you do."

"Gana, we go to bed. It's late and…" Old Morgana excused herself.

"Do not imagine we're going to sleep pretty soon." Merlin added.

"Shut up, Merlin! If you need something, come whenever you want."

"Thanks!"

"You can go in my office if you need to be alone for a while. The light is on. Switch it off when you go. It's near the door. All you have to do is to press that button. Good night, Morgana!"

"Good night to you both!" And she left unaware the young Merlin had heard their conversation too.

* * *

Everybody was deep asleep when the young Dragon Lord tried to sneak out of the house or at least he'd thought so.

"He's not alive, Merlin." He heard Morgana. "It's been a thousand of years. Not even he could live so long."

"I wasn't…." He bubbled unable to find the right words.

"And you already know what he would have said, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. I guess you can't always have what you want." If she hadn't known him so well the witch would have been shocked how calm he was. "Sometimes it feels too much to bear. What should I've done? After I'd lost you I focused on what friends I was left with. It was easier. I want nothing but the best for them and Camelot. But sometimes I believe it's not enough."

"Well, you kept them safe. You wrapped your beloved Arthur in cotton so nothing would ever hurt him. How was he supposed to learn to be a good king when you always kept him far away to responsibilities?"

"It was the only friend I was left with. Was it so wrong that I wanted to spare him of suffering the way I did?"

"But he will never learn if you choose the easier way for him. What would happen if one day you weren't be able to be at his side? Arthur is still a spoiled child. He knew nothing about the real world. A friend tells you what you want to hear, but a good friend tells you what you need to hear."

"You can't understand."

"Test me. He needs to know, Merlin... It's up to you how the future will look like. Neither I nor your older version will come with you, so you'll have to face it alone. But we don't want you to make the same mistakes. Yet everyone has to play his part well. Good night, Merlin!"

He just stood there more confused than ever while his friends were snoring peacefully. If only it would be so easy.

* * *

Next day

"Hey! Haven't you slept at all?" Old Merlin asked as he entered his office. She was still there, sleepy and tired. "You should have. You're going to have a full day. Have you met Celeste? You're going to spend the day with her. She's very sweet. You'll see. I'll take you to her. You'll come together. She'll tell you what you have to do. Celeste is pretty clever. Merlin will come with you, too."

"Why?"

"I can't let you two alone, can I?"

"But I can handle pretty well myself. I don't need his help."

"Whatever. He'll come. That's my credit card. Celeste will explain you how to use it and this is password. And here you have a phone. Ask her if you don't know how to use it."

"How old is she?"

"She's four."

"And she…"

"Believe me. She's even better than me when it comes noticing everything that happens around. Okay. Go and see what you want to wear. Morgana is still in the bedroom. I'm going to wake the others." The young witch nodded and went to Morgana's bedroom.

"Up everybody!" He shouted as loud as he could. In a moment they were up. "Good! You have food in the fridge. There are labels on each object containing their name and how to use it. You're going to be alone today. Do not ruin the house. Until we come back, you have enough time to tidy the rooms, dust the furniture, vacuum the carpet, mop the floor, wash the dishes. You have the list on the fridge."

"Fine." Young Merlin answered as he entered the house. He'd been wandering around all night despite the December's coldness. Well, his older version was swimming during the winter. Morgana had learned that in the hard way, but at least it hadn't been so cold then.

"You won't help them. You'll take care of Morgana and Celeste. Here's the list." and he handed him a sheet of paper. "Everything you need to know is here. You have some minutes to get ready."

"I don't think she wants… me." The young warlock bubbled.

"You'll like it, Merlin!" Old Morgana assured him. "We'll explain you more in the car."

"But who's going to help me? He's my servant" Arthur asked and he really meant it.

"Haven't you learnt to dress yourself, dear brother?" Young Morgana mocked him. "If I think better, I guess I'll need Merlin after all. Are you ready, Merlin?" Young Morgana added as she climbed down the stairs

"Just a moment." And he disappeared upstairs while the siblings kept throwing angry glanced at each other.

"By the way" Old Merlin added as they were all waiting for the young warlock. "Who likes cherry juice?" The group didn't get the true meaning of his question In fact, they thought he was intending to bring them more, so they all admitted to love it. "I do neither time and nor the mood to run an investigation and find out who was the idiot who hasn't learnt to drink appropriately and spilt juice on my work. Believe me, you should feel grateful that I won't use such means to give you a lesson. But if it were to happen again, I honestly advice you to find another shelter. Is it clear?"

"Let's go!" The young warlock put an end to the awkard tension as he came back.

"Good luck, dear brother!" She called him as she entered the car. She'd won. Merlin had abandoned Arthur to go with her and if that wasn't victory then what was it?

* * *

 ** _Five years ago: Morgana's birthday_**

 _She wondered if he would remembered. The witch hadn't had celebrated her birthday for longer than she could remember. Last year, Merlin had been in hospital and so none thought about parties, not even herself._

 _This year, there were only the two of them (well, three of them). She couldn't help feeling a bit upset as Merlin acted as if nothing had happened. She thought that he didn't know. It shouldn't have been a surprise as it had been too long ago since she'd last had her birthday celebrated and they were mortal enemies at the time._

 _So she took it as it was, enjoying the fact that she still had him and the hope that it might turn into a great day afterall._

 _She said nothing, just forced a smile only Merlin could have realized it wasn't genuine and acted as if it had been an usual day._

 _Yet Morgana felt sad and as if hadn't been enough Merlin spilt the cherry juice on her blouse. He brought her a dress to change; a very nice one, actually. The witch initially hadn't wanted to wear that one as she'd considered it too nice for an ordinary day, but Merlin insisted, telling her that each day was special and she should enjoy it._

 _What she hated the most was the fact Merlin had to go. He'd received a phone call and soon after he'd finished the conversation, the warlock announced her he was needed and he would be late. All those on her birthday._

 _For almost two hours, Morgana was completely alone. She listened music, made her hair (just to keep herself occupied), tried a new make-up._

 _As the doorbell rang insistently, she hurried to opened it. She'd been in the middle of one of her crazy alone dances when one intends to do something productive and ends up dancing just because they like the song and there is no one to see them. That was exactly what had happened to the witch. She'd intended to dust the furniture, but ended up in the middle of a dance._

 _She had time just to turn off the music and then she opened to the so insistent visitor. Little did she expected to find there her crazy band of friends, with flowers, balloons and a very nice birthday cake. They had all come to wish her happy birthday: Ava, Chris, the two boys of their former neighbors, her colleagues from the Anatomy courses (she'd been taking private courses), their new friends and of course Merlin. He was holding the cake which was a huge jewellery's chest made of chocolate and decorated with sour cherry. They had to choose between that and a white dragon. Yet as the white dragon might have made her melancholic, they'd ran for funny. However, they'd bought a little silver dragon as amulet for her Pandora bracelet. Even Darky had a balloon tightened to his body and he seemed very proud of it._

 _Instead of making her laugh, they succeeded in gaining some tears from her. The witch had never expected something like that. Another moment of tears followed as she opened the gifts and she saw the pictures. They'd gather different funny or less funny photos they had taken together during the last two years._

 _Eventually, the tears ended and they all had a great time together. The cake was really delicious… and every gift found its place somewhere around their beloved friend. They laughed as they studied the photos and remembered when they had taken them and they ended up speaking about how each of them met and what they initially thought about the other…_

 _The next day they would have to clean up the place. It was good they were so many, although she doubt they would finish fast. Yet for the moment, Morgana simply didn't care. They partied until late at night and still none felt like sleeping…._


	10. Babysitting

Babysitting

The two magic beings had hardly said a word before they arrived. Instead they had just listened to the instructions their old versions had been given to them.

As soon as old Merlin had knocked the door he was welcomed by a cry of joy and a little pixy was soon in his arms.

"Look at my shoes." She demanded.

"There're very pretty." He complimented her. "And so is your dress." Celeste was indeed very sweet. Curled fair hair, big blue eyes, ivory skin and a huge smile on her face. This was she.

"No." She cried disappointed. "You boys know nothing." She spoke on such a serious tone than everybody tried their best not to laughed.

"Okay" Merlin put on his best question face.

"You must tell Santa Claus I'm wearing my shoes, silly." Last year Santa had scolded her for refusing to wear her house slippers all the time.

"Are you wearing them all the time?" She nodded. "May I ask your mummy?" She hesitated. "Are you a little liar?"

"Could you just tell Santa I've been good this year?" The little pixy asked.

"We'll see." Now he was serious. "Do you know who they are?" And Merlin pointed towards the two sorcerers. Celeste nodded. "Now you go down. You're pretty heavy."

"Do you want to hear the poem I'll say to Santa this year?" And she'd started before he could say a thing.

"Are you not going to hug me?" Old Morgana asked and she pretended being very sad.

"Let's feed my dolly." And she took the old Morgana by the hand.

"I can't stay. I and mummy have something to do. You'll play with them. Do you want to play with them?" Celeste nodded. "They will take you to the town. Do you want to see the big Christmas tree and the toys?"

"Will they buy me a toy?"

"And cookies. Do you want cookies?" She nodded happy.

"We have to go." Old Merlin announced. "You know what you have to do, don't you?" His young version assured him everything would be alright.

"Go and show them what you want to take with you. And put a coat on." Her mother commanded. "Please, make sure she takes her coat." Merlin smiled and nodded, then he followed her. Young Morgana was still there, confused but Celeste called her and she had to go upstairs.

* * *

"You know what you have to do, Gana?"

"Do you think it's a good idea?" Ava asked a bit worried.

"Don't worry! Gana will supervise them so nothing bad will happen. They won't know that, though."

"No, I mean you giving them your credit card. You know Celeste. She'll buy everything she can find."

"This is our last Christmas together. Plus, I have enough money for a year."

"What are we going to do?"

"You three will go with them. I have no idea how much their actions will affect this world. So, it's best this way."

"What about you?"

"We'll start a new life. We'll go the crystal cave when the change is to happen and then we'll return to whatever future will be."

"It won't be easy."

"We'll still have each other." Old Morgana pointed out. "Come what may, I don't care."

* * *

Celeste's room was full with toys and books. The two magic beings had to pay attention to the toys thrown everywhere on the floor.

"What's that?" Merlin asked as he set his foot in.

"My toys." Celeste answered proudly. "We'll take that and that...and this one." And she threw at them the toys and clothes she wanted to take. "Put them in…. Mummy!" She cried "where's my bag?" Eventually, Celeste found it.

"There are too much. You can't take them all. Morgana could you help me, please?"

"Why not? If she wants them all." The witch said bored. She'd been annoyed by the fact Merlin was handling so well with the girl and she hopped Celeste would love her more should she agreed with her.

"If you say so, girls." He surrendered.

"Girls are complicated." Celeste said very confident. "You can't understand. You're a boy."

"Sure." Upon hearing that Morgana couldn't help bursting into laughters.

"What is wrong with her?" Celeste asked.

"She thinks I'm funny." Merlin lied.

"You're odd. Let's go."

* * *

Celeste took them to every shop she could find. There was no toy the girl wouldn't ask for and no cookie she didn't want to try. After she got bored of buying toys and eating sweets, Celeste forced Morgana to try on hundreds of dresses while Merlin had to carry the bags.

After hours of going from one shop to another the two sorcerers were really tired while the girl didn't seem to have lost her energy.

"Why don't you hold hands?" The girl asked them suddenly. "Lovers hold hands."

"We're not lovers." They pointed out.

"Why not? You look nice together." And she took their hands and put them together. "That's better." And she took Morgana's free hand. "We can hold hands like that."

"Why don't you stay in the middle?" Merlin question her.

"Because you must be next to her, silly. Adults are really difficult. They don't understand."

"What can't adults understand?" Morgana was curious to find out.

"What they want. They pretend too much." They watched each other for a moment. "Mistletoe." She screamed happily. "Come." And she took them under the mistletoe. "Stay there." Celeste commanded and she stepped back. "Now you have to kiss."

"What?"

"Mistletoe!" She pointed out as if it'd been pretty evident. "If two people were to kiss under the mistletoe, they would be together forever." And the girl threw her arms in a very theatrical way. "Kiss."

Without saying a thing he put down the bags, pressed Morgans closer and kissed her. Celeste giggled while she pretended to cover her eyes with her hands.

* * *

When they finally got home, full of bags and very tired, they allowed themselves to collapse in the middle of the room. But they were soon chased away by Gawain who was tidying the room.

"Are you really doing that?" The warlock asked surprised. Soon he realized everybody was trying his best to do his part.

"Where's Arthur?" Morgana couldn't restrain her curiosity.

"He is supposed to dust the furniture upstairs. But I haven't heard anything about him for a while." The knight responded.

"I'll go to see." Celeste declared. "You lazy thing" They heard her. "Gana, come and see. He's sleeping."

Instead of apologising, the king, as soon he spotted Merlin commanded him to dust the furniture.

"I don't think so. Everybody's working and so will you." And the warlock dragged him down of the bed.

"Why are you sleeping in their bed, lazy thing?" Celeste wanted to know.

"My name is not "lazy thing"." the king cried. "I'm king Arthur."

"M'lin said king Arthur was the best king ever and a good friend. You're neither of them. You're running from you responsability. A king faces the challenges and he doesn't hide behind his people." Celeste threw at him.

"But I can't…"

"Mummy said nothing is impossible. There's no such thing as "can't", just "I don't know how to do it". I'll show you how to dust. You don't have magic, do you?"

"No. Of course not."

"Pitty. I guess I have to show you in the hard way. Watch and learn" And the girl took carefully the books from the bookshelf and started to rub the surface with a cloth. "Now you do it."I want to sleep" she told Morgana. "Could I sleep in your room?"

"Sure."

"Bye, Arthur. Let's go. You have to help me."

"But this is not fair. I work here while you play with a kid. How could it be fair?" Arthur cried out.

"You think it's easy. You're lucky she hasn't found any mistletoe yet." Merlin pointed out.

"What do you want to say?" Morgana asked instantly.

"Good idea." Celeste gave a cry of joy. "Where's Gwen? Merlin, come and put the branch of mistletoe we've bought somewhere up on the ceiling." And she dragged Arthur out of the room. "Gwen!" The girl called her while she forced the king to follow him.

"Go, Arthur! We'll do your job for you." Merlin said as his friend begged for help.

"I'm not going to do his job. I'm tired and…" Morgana puffed.

"Neither do I." And with a single gliter of gold in his eyes, the dust disappeared, everything was at his place, the floor was mopped and the carped clean. "You knew it." Merlin answered to her confused face. "Magic can be used for various things." He laughed. "And I think it was good." The warlock went on while he pressed her back on the wall "and a good idea. I also think we should try it again" And the last Dragon Lord brought his face closer to hers so his lips almost touched hers. "with mistletoe or without." He lifted the young witch and kissed her passionately.

"Hey!" The girl cried as she came back for them and she started to giggle.

"Go and find the mistletoe. We'll come later." The warlock promised. Celeste smiled and ran downstairs hopping happily.

"Are you aware the will know about us in three, two, one…? They know." Merlin laughed and he magically slammed the door so no one would bother them in the future. Morgana giggled and pull him closer.

"I..DON'T...CARE!" She cried happily.

* * *

 _Minutes_ _later_

"Merlin! Have you finished?" It was Arthur, but he was shouting from downstairs. "She's got impatient."

"Have you seen how many pieces of furniture they have? And there's so much dust. Plus, we have to put all these things to their place, mop the floor, make the bed. Do you want to hear the entire list?" Merlin answered on a serious tone. Meanwhile, Morgana was struggling to hold back a laughter.

"There's no mop upstairs." Arthur had a moment of wisdom.

"We haven't start to mop the floor yet." The warlock lied. "But don't worry, we'll come to take it."

"When you come, put this thing on. I have the slightest idea how to do it." Arthur commanded him.

"Do you need help there?" Gwen asked willing to give a hand.

"No, thank you. You're very kind. We have everything undercontrol."

"Are you sure? There are many rooms up there."

"Just take care of Celeste. Arthur used to give me much more to do every day. I'm used to it."

"Fine. If you need help…"

"Thanks Gwen. I think Arthur needs some help with the mistletoe. Has Celeste explain you how it works?"

* * *

Downstairs, they were almost ready. Celeste had instructed everyone how to do their chores and where to put every single object.

"I'm going after Darky." She declared suddenly and she disappapeared. Ten minutes later she was holding a black cat in her arms. "This is Darky." She said. "He's always running outside. I don't know why. Have you finished?"

Eventuall, the knights had managed to hang the mistletoe branch over the door.

"Now what?" Arthur asked.

"You have to kiss her. You are all so stupid."

"Merlin! Tell me you haven't known about it?" Arthur shouted upon hearing Celeste's instructions.

"Celeste told me about it. What's wrong about it? You love her, she loves you, Celeste will be happy, too."

"Come on, Princess." Gawain said "Everyone knows she's your queen. Don't be shy." Meanwhile, Celeste had taken two little dragons and pretended her toys were kissing each other, which made everyone laughed.

"Kiss. Kiss. Kiss." was echoing everywhere.

"Queen Guinever, please!" The little girl said. "You look lovely together."

"But I'm not queen." Gwen muttered surprised.

"Not yet, but she'll be." Morgana revealed them. She'd heard the noise and decided to join the group. "Not even I can change it or at least I've thought that. Yet, proud as you are, I may have chances to prevent it. Afterall, I may have succedded without bringing Lancelot back. I guess I give you more credit."

"You did what?" They cried.

"Does it matter? You give up on her." And the witch disappeare upstairs.

"Gwen." Arthur muttered. "I haven't known."

"I know."

"I'm glad Morgana can't help injuring me. Her impulsivity has always been her undoing. I was about to make the worst mistake ever. Guinever, will you marry me?" This was something Gwen had never expected, yet she answered on the spot while tears were running down her face.

"With all my heart."


	11. Surprises

A bit of magic

They hardly got any time to relax. They spent whole day going from a shop to another, making lists, packing gifts, writing letters.

Merlin had disguised himself in Santa Claus and he'd asked for their help. Celeste had agreed on the spot and the others had been forced to join them.

First, the Camelotians were disappointed as he used magic to turn water in gold. They'd never like magic as it was, so they couldn't help disagreeing as they saw it used to gain wealth. Merlin said nothing. He just left and came back half an hour later with a cheque instead of gold. Then, he forced them to follow him in every shop he went. He bought sweets, fruits, clothes, toys, books. And all of them had to be sorted and packed according to the list.

The next day brought the same schedule, shopping, shopping, shopping. They were exhausted. Only Merlin and Morgana seemed to enjoy it to everybody's surprise.

But it was worth pain as they saw the happiness in the children's eyes. It had been a tradition for old Merlin and old Morgana. For four years they had been offering gifts to orphan children and poor people who needed help as well as ill people.

After the accident, they'd paid for a new hospital and for three years they had been visiting and easing the patient's pain, bringing smiles on their faces. Morgana had even decided to enter the medical school and now she was in the fourth year.

For the first time, the Camelotians saw that magic could be used to help. The children's smiles and enthusiasm as they saw the gifts, the kindness the sorcerer displayed in front of the children, his patience as he listened to every of the children's stories. And even young Morgana was different. She played with them and laughed a lot.

Eventually, they all join the party, kings, queens, knights, witches, warlocks and children, they all played together under the thousands lights and among Christmas snowmen and Rudolfs.

* * *

The day had been pretty long, but eventually Arthur & comp. were allowed to go back home and do what they knew best - watch TV. Although, they didn't say it aloud they'd loved to spend the time like that and they felt a bit nostalgic that the day was over.

They were all seated in front of TV, noisily laughing and joking when the door opened and Celeste brought a tiny wet puppy. Soon, young Morgana and young Merlin came in, each of them having a similar puppy in their arms. And this continued with Avalon, Chris and the old Merlin and Morgana each harbouring such a puppy in their arms. Seven puppies were brought in and there were some to be brought in too. So, they went back and came with other four puppies. Eventually, they stopped there.

They had found them in the woods, alone and hungry. None could imagine how they'd got there, but as they couldn't find their mummy and the puppies were trembling due to the cold weather, the seven decided to take them home and feed them.

And so they washed the puppies and warmed them with the hairdryer. The little ones seemed the enjoy the warmth and they cuddle in their little boxes, on the warm fluffy blankets the group had putted there for them. Darky, as he couldn't stand for being number two, not even for a few moments, cuddled in front of the hair dryer, over the poor puppy which was in line for being dried.

They feed them with the use of some syringes. They were so hungry and vulnerable. Darky as well tried to get attention and suddenly he "fell in love" with the milk they needed to feed the puppies even though his bowl was full with food.

When the cat realized that his attempts were in vain, he decided to take the hard way. And he took his revenge on the poor puppies. Darky didn't allow his masters to feed the "babies" as he kept rubbing against their hands and pushing the syringe away. He'd never been so jealous.

* * *

The little ones were sitted near the fireplace to welcome Santa when he would come. They had their own sock hanged at the fireplace near to Celeste's which was the biggest of all. Well, it was no wonder considering the huge wishlist she'd written to Santa (well, she'd dictated it as she could write not even a word except for her own name).

Darky had his own sock, too. The cat was probably going to receive a new toy as he'd already destroyed his old one as well as the sofa and the curtains (but Morgana hadn't found it) and Merlin's folders and documents (Merlin had Darky with him one day, hoping the cat would entertain the child Merlin was trying to help. Well, Darky did his job lovely, but he also destroyed everything he could. And he had a liking for paper.)

* * *

To Celeste's disappointment, Santa had come again while she was asleep. She'd tried hard, very, very hard not to fall asleep and wait for him, but it'd seemed Santa had been very busy again and he had been unable to come earlier. Yet she was happy that he'd brought her everything she'd wished for.

In fact, everyone had received something. There was hardly any space left under the Christmas Tree.

At first, the group hadn't dared to get close as they'd probably thought they hadn't got anything. It was young Merlin who first noticed there'd been gifts for everyone. He'd spotted Morgana's gift and he handled it to her. Then the group started to look for other gifts and so in just few minutes everybody started to unwrap the gifts, curious to find what was inside.

They were also curious to know who'd brought the gifts, but all they got was "Santa Claus" and a lovely story about how Santa keeps bringing gifts every year.

Well, Celeste had bubbled something about Santa while they'd been decorated the Christmas Tree, but they hadn't pay attention to it. Considering Celeste was speaking all the time, it was very difficult to follow her after a while. Arthur had even wondered whether she wasn't Morgana's daughter. Morgana had just answered him Celeste was a great, great, great, great, grandchildren of her brother and her sister-in-law and that they were related indeed.

* * *

Because nobody should be alone for Christmas, as Merlin and Morgana firmly declared, the group had to spend the day with an old lady who lived in the neighborhood. They couldn't get why they should be there too. If Merlin and Morgana wanted to keep her company, they were free to do that without involving them. But no, they had to go, too. And it was very boring. The worst part was that they were not allowed to complain.

* * *

They were just the two of them and old Merlin decided it was time to give her the present. His wife opened it as quickly as possible. She was enthusiastic and curious.

Yet Morgana was shocked as she saw the picture. She had forgotten about it. In fact she hadn't known he'd taken her a photo that day. The witch only hoped Merlin would keep the photo for himself. She was too colourful for enjoying the idea of anyone seeing the photo.

* * *

Years ago

Morgana was sitting at the window, watching the huge snowflakes falling down from the sky. It was a view she'd never enjoyed before. It had been snowing very, very seldom in Camelot and it had never used to last. She'd seen a lot of snow while she'd lived in the mountains, but the witch had been so full of hatred to notice the beauty of the winter.

But now, as she watched the snow while she being inside where it was warm and comfy, the winter looked totally different to the witch.

But she had to share her happiness with Merlin who was very deep asleep. Yet she knew the best way to get his attention.

She gathered as much snow as she could in her hands and then she sneaked in his room, dragged the blanket away from him and put the cold snow on his bare chest. Afterwards, the witch tried to run away. Morgana had never thought it would be so easily.

Well, she'd managed to run away just because he'd been too confused to notice her. Yet there was still a problem. They were alone at the cabin which meant she was the main and only suspect.

Morgana heard him calling her kindly, but something told her not to trust him. So, she stood there. She cursed for taking off her boots and her coat as the witch knew very well what would happen should he were to find her.

There was no way she could put something warm on her as he was blocking her way to the stairs while her cloths were upstairs. He'd probably heard her running down stairs and now was waiting for her to come out of her hiding place.

All her efforts were in vain as she couldn't hold back a sneeze. The witch tried to run upstairs (exactly like in all those stupid horror films where the victims always went up stair instead of going out. Well, at least she had an excuse as it was very cold outside and she was just in her pajamas.)

He followed her. She tried to protect herself by throwing pillows and fluffy toyes at him. It didn't work as he caught her. The witch begged him not to throw her in the snow. She hadn't thought at consequences.

Although throwing her in the snow was pretty tempting, Morgana was hardly wearing anything on her and the last thing he wanted was to spend the winter preparing her tea and throwing napkins.

So he just played with her like a cat would do with a mouse. He kissed her gently while in his mind he'd already prepeared his revenge.

He watched her pwhile she peacefully fell asleep. The witch had really believed he'd forgiven her. Well, he did, but his idea was funny and it was worth being tested...on Morgana.

The warlock put a sleeping spell on her just to be sure and started to paint her body using her eye shadow pallet. It took a lot and it was too easy to remove, but it was very funny. Paint would have been better, but it was toxic and too difficult to remove. Merlin left not a single part of her body unpainted. Now she was a rainbow alien. To make sure it would last he added a bit (well, the entire bottle) of makeup setting spray. He should have become a makeup artist.

It was such a pity Morgana didn't see his talent. But Merlin had already immortalized the moment on his camera and she had not even noticed.


	12. Past and Present

Past and Present

 _'There's enough to take a single drop to taste the entire ocean"_

* * *

 _ **6 years before**_

 _She didn't know why she came. She kept wandering on the hospital's holl even though it was night and she shouldn't have been there. But she wanted to see him. Yet she didn't want him to know._

 _Morgana opened the door as quietly as possible. She threw a glance towards him to check if he'd noticed anything. He was still asleep. The witch could tell he was in pain. She'd never seen him more vulnerable than he was that day._

 _Avalon had told her that pain killers were almost useless and he usually felt asleep because he'd been to weak to stay conscious, but it would never last too long as pain would eventually wake him up._

 _The smell was horrible and so was the sight in front of her. She couldn't stand the odor of medicine and the pallor of his face. She stood frozen, unable to take a single step._

 _Why hadn't it bothered her when she'd come first? It might have been because of her being so desperate not to lose him._

 _"Who are you?" Morgana heard a feeble voice. Instinctively, she threw a glance toward Merlin and she saw the question on his face._

* * *

 _ **Present**_

Morgana didn't know what to do. She was hungry, but going down stairs to the kitchen would mean meeting Arthur and the group and she always found it awkward to be around them as the witch was at loss how to act in such circumstances.

To be bitter and revengeful wasn't quite a solution as they were sharing the same house and the same food and being at war would brought nothing, but misery and loneliness. In fact, she was the only one who was forced to feel that loneliness as the 'happy group', as old Merlin used to call them, had each other while she only had Merlin, Celeste and the old Merlin and Morgana and sometimes Avalon and Chris.

But Merlin was usually out, looking for a job. He hadn't liked the idea of having other to pay for his expenses while he could work as well, even if the other was his elder version, and he'd decided to search for a job. Morgana, though, used to think that his decision had been strengthened by his friends' reaction upon learning Merlin had magic.

As she'd expected Arthur hadn't got the news well, ignoring his friend's sacrifices and his unending proofs of friendship. It had taken the warlock a great deal of time and courage to admit it. In fact, he hardly had a choice. The happy group had already started to ask questions about Emrys and it'd been only a question of time until they were to find the truth.

So, Merlin had done it before. He told them everything or at least he tried to as Arthur didn't want to hear his plage. But the warlock had kept insisting and he insisted and insisted until one day he acknowledged it was in vain. He'd been acting friendly with them, but he'd given up his attempts to clarify the situation and eventually he'd decided to find a job. And so he was out the most part of the time.

The elder versions of her and Merlin's were either working or studying and when they had a little free time they used to spend it together so it was almost impossible to find them.

Celeste loved her tenderly, but at night she had to go home. Morgana would usually get her in the morning before her parents were to leave for work and she would spend the day with the little pixy which meant the witch wouldn't spend much time with her brother and his friends.

And Avalon and Chris were working. Old Morgana had once told her about the curse Avalon used to suffer from and how it'd been Morgana's fault. Eventually, she and Merlin had found a solution. They hadn't been able to lift the curse, but they'd found a way to prevent it from extending, an enchanted necklace made of a very rare herb which powers were magnified by a very difficult spell of which creation had required the both magic being's power.

She couldn't either be too friendly as her vanity wouldn't allow her to admit her mistakes. Plus, Arthur had also thousands of reasons to apologise. Yet, it doesn't feel and Gwen were about to get married and Morgana couldn't help wishing she would spend her time with Gwen, trying up wedding dresses and chatting with her friend. Everything the witch could do was to listen Gwen and Avalon speaking about it and pretend she didn't care.

Why couldn't they just go out or disappear somehow? She was really hungry. But no, they would stay hypnotised in front of the TV. Old Merlin couldn't have a better idea than to teach them how to use it.

So, the witch would wait and wait until her Merlin or the other Merlin would come home and then she would ask him to bring her some food.

* * *

Old Morgana had felt in the mood to make him a tiny surprise; her Merlin seemed to enjoy every little thing that made them smile, so a tea would have to do, but it turned into a disaster as she spilt all of it on her husband's chest. Plus, the tea was boiling hot. Damn the stupid idea to juggle with a hot tea around any living being, especially Merlin.

Yet, the warlock didn't seem quite upset. He just changed his shirt as if nothing had happened and he suggested him going for another tea as he'd noticed her distress.

"It's not the tea." The witch pointed out. "It must have burn you. It was really hot."

"Aw, that. I haven't realized." Merlin remarked simply as if her burning him with tea were just a banal accident. She stared at him unable to say a word and the warlock felt that an explanation would be welcome. "The nerves on this area were affected by the fire. So, my sensorial ability is reduced. I've thought you already knew that as you're a student at the medical school.

"I've…." She babbled. "I just thought it didn't apply to you. I guess I wanted it. I'm sorry!"

"What for?" He stopped her before it were to bring back sad memories.

"It's my fault. It happened because of me." Morgana couldn't help feeling terribly guilty.

"This accident brought you to me. I do not regret a thing." And he pulled her closer. "Yet, I don't get why Neil or those girls. You must have sensed they weren't good for you, haven't you?"

Morgana took a breath in and after a moment of silence, she spoke.

"Because I felt that he was the type of man I could be with. I wasn't any better than him, Merlin. And he was just like me. We didn't care what people say. We didn't care about rules or about doing what is right as long as we had 'fun'."

"But he didn't love you."

"I knew it from the start. I knew what he wanted and it was ok."

"How could it have been ok to sleep with a guy you hardly knew and for who you felt nothing?"

"Welcome to the 21th century, Merlin."

"Do not dare to joke." It was clear he hadn't liked it. That wasn't Morgana he knew and… or at least he wanted to believe that. As if she'd read his mind, Morgana added on serious tone.

"It's hard to explain. I'd changed a lot and I knew that; I knew there wasn't going back. The only thing that had remained unchanged was my ability to be attractive, so I focused on it. And I was pretty good at it. I just wanted to be good at something. Before, it was the war against Arthur that gave me something to do...and my power. But this world...I simply realized I didn't have a purpose. I knew men liked me and I knew the way they liked me. None would have taken me seriously, but I was ok with it. I had nothing to lose. He wouldn't have been the first and neither the last."

"Morgana" His voice begged her to stop. "You're worth more than that. You deserved to be loved." And he pulled her closer, but the witch put some distance between them, warning him that she wanted him to stay quiet and listen to her.

"When the things that scare you the most in this world happen to you, you just simply realize there's nothing you can't deal with in this world. And it wasn't that bad. I didn't have to cover my body because I didn't care how much they see. I didn't have to care about others would say as I'd known how it feels to be hated. I knew what pain felt like and I knew nobody would love me if he were able to see me, the real me. I did worse things than Neil and that made me feel we had something in common. So, yes, I was ok to sleep with him because it made me feel powerful. Sounds strange, doesn't it?" She stopped for a moment.

"No, I understand. Well, I try to, but I guess I'm failing horribly. Yet I should have known. You're just too proud to feel sorry for yourself. I don't know what happened when you're Sarrum's prisonnier but I understand why you prefer not to talk about it." Merlin decided to keep the subject as far as possible. Bringing back such memories or better said nightmares, wasn't helping at all. Epecially with Morgana.

"Sarrum? How have you found?" It wasn't worth to pretend, not with him at least.

"I just figure it out this must have been what caused you to think like that. If you feel like talking about it..."

"You're right I don't want to speak about it." She cut him harshly. "I didn't sleep with Neil, though." The witch added immediately as she'd wanted to changed the topic.

"Why?"

"Because you called me… You couldn't have chosen a worse time to do it."

"And you didn't answer, did you?"

"Nevertheless, I knew it was you and… I just felt I couldn't do it. So, I left and called you. I could have taken a taxi, but I had just called you before I realized what I was doing and I needed to find an excuse. The only excuse that crossed my mind and was acceptable enough was that I have no money left. And you came and it made me feel I didn't deserve it. You made me yearn for things I'd thought they were dead for me."

"Why did you go to the party? I warned you."

"Because I was stubborn. Because you made me feel weak. A couple of weeks ago I had nothing to lose and suddenly I realized I was afraid; I had thousands of things to be afraid of. I wanted to prove myself I could do pretty anything. I was terribly wrong."

"Fear do make us weak, but love makes us much stronger as it takes strength to get over you fears…"

"Or your pride." Morgana joked. The warlock smiled, happy that he'd managed to make her smile. He knew it wasn't genuine, in fact she'd done it to make him feel better, but it was a sign he should go on.

"To do what is right for the one you love."

"Like going through fire to save a stubborn idiot."

"Like passing over your pride to take care of the one you love." And he pulled her closer. The witch escaped his grab and started to attack him with a pillow.

"That was difficult and you refused to make it easy." She said as she put enough distance between them, but he caught her again, despite her playful attempts to escape.

"What? I didn't even ask you about that kiss."

"Which kiss?"

"You know, Gana."

"No, I don't. Tell me you weren't kissed by a girl while you're unconscious."

"In fact I was. She's darked haired, green-eyed, pretty beautiful and she had a way of kissing me. Do you know her?" Morgana slapped him playfully. "Ouch! Wait a moment, how do you know I was unconscious?"

"How do you know what she looked like if you didn't see her?"

"I'd met her before."

"Are you sure it wasn't a dream."

"You tell me."

"You kissed a girl?!"

"No matter how much I wanted to do it, I didn't kiss her. She did. Do you have idea how frustrated I was that I woke up to late? I just wished I'd woken up earlier and had caught her and never let her go. I wished I'd seen her face when she realized it wasn't worth denying."

"And yet you kept your tongue. You made me believe you hadn't felt it."

"Wasn't it what you wanted?"

"I don't know. Part of me wished you felt it, that you decided to stay because of it."

"If I'd told you I love you, you would have laughed. Plus, I was afraid you wouldn't come back to me. So, I decided to give you a clean slate."

"Pretending you'd lost your memory?!"

"I wanted you to come back. I knew it was selfish, but I didn't want to lose you. But I didn't know at the time how much I asked from you."

"Why did you push me away, then?"

"Because I realized you shouldn't have wasted your time taking care of me. You should have been out enjoying the sun, visiting the world, dancing, wearing those pretty dresses that fitted so perfectly to you, falling in love, eating chocolate croissants at the bank of Loire, going in a roller coaster."

* * *

 _ **Six years ago**_

 _"How do you feel?" Morgana asked as she entered the room. Yet, his cold expression scared her. Instantly she realized he must have remembered everything._

 _It used to have been so good. She'd really thought they could start from scratch, that he would never have to know they were enemies or that the pain he had to live with was because of it. "You remembered."_

 _"I just simply want to be alone." Merlin not even bother to watch her in the eye._

 _"Alright. I'll be….if you need." She babbled._

 _"I won't need anything. I'm just weak, not cripple, Morgana. I can take care of myself."_

 _"I just want to help you." Morgana added unable to believe he'd been so rude with her._

 _"Fine. Just don't come back, will you? And Morgana, I won't save you again."_

 _She nodded and got out, tears in her eyes. As the witch shut the door behind her, she found herself face to face with Avalon. They watched each other for a moment, then Morgana went down the stairs without uttering a single world._

 _"You hurt her." Avalon threw at Merlin as she entered his room._

 _"Then keep her far away from me." She watched him still furious. "Please, I didn't save her to keep her locked inside. I didn't save her to turn her into a servant. Look at me! Is it the life you want to her?"_

 _"You're going to get well and…"_

 _"When? After she will have already lost the best years of her life and she will start to feel pity for herself? Help her find someone who can offer her everything she yearns for."_

"What about you? You need her."

"I'll be fine. " He let a single tear run down his face as he said that. "Please, Ava!"


	13. Butterflies' Rain

Butterflies' rain

"Are you not going to come?" The old Morgana asked her younger version as she entered her room.

"Well, I… I don't think they want me there… Arthur has not invited Merlin. I don't think I actually want to go. What I don't get is why you've been invited. I mean, you're different and ...well, I guess…. you're not wanting them dead or at least somewhere far away, but you're still me, aren't you? And… Well, you did all those bad things too and… And Merlin...the old one… Arthur has invited him while he keeps refusing to speak with the other. I don't get it!"

"Arthur did really tried not to speak with both of them, but it didn't work with the old Merlin. He's simply confident enough not to feel for Arthur's childishness. So, as long as nothing Arthur would say didn't make him retreat and Merlin would keep treating them as they were just some spoilt kids…. Plus that they depand on us. If they by any chance forgot whose house this is or who is making sure there is enough food and warm clothes, they would have to remember it as soon as there's no food in the fridge or the TV break down. Should I mention we have organized the wedding? Or that they would have to mop the floor for three years from now on only to pay for Gwen's wedding dress? And, in fact, they didn't invite us."

"But you'll go anyway."

"Yeap. You could come too."

"I don't want to make things worse. I don't want Merlin to get hurt if Arthur were rude or even worse if he were to ask us to go."

"Arthur is his friend. Neither of them would hurt Merlin more than the regret he wasn't there. And I think Arthur wants Merlin to come too, but he'd just so stubborn. Plus, Morgana, there are only a few months left and you'll have to go back to Camelot. You have to learn to work together. Camelot depends on it."

"What if we were not to come back? We love this life. Merlin got a job. It's not much, but I bet things will get even better. And even if we were to live like that we would be happy. I'll find a job myself if it is necessary. You'll handle better than us. You have the experience we won't be able to earn in just a couple of months. You said there can't be two versions at the same time, but does it matter which one stays?"

"Morgana!"

"There's no way for me to stay in Camelot. Even if I stayed there for Merlin's sake, I would be unhappy. If I were to go, Merlin would have to choose again. No matter who he would choose, he would be unhappy."

"Does Merlin know?"

"Yes. He cares dearly for Arthur, but he thinks it's best this way. He know that his older version would handled better."

"If this is what you want."

"It is."

"I wish you the best. Yet, you should come to the wedding. And I think you should invite them to your wedding, too."

"My wedding?"

"Yours and Merlin's."

"But they not even noticed we are together."

"It's time they do."

* * *

Gwen was standing in front of the mirror. She was wearing a diafan, ruffled white wedding dress with long tulle sleeves embroidered with shiny silver flowers. Her long, dark, curly hair was up in a cute waterfall braid. Her face was shining with utter happiness.

"You look wonderful!" The young Morgana uttered. Gwen turned a bit startled as she hadn't noticed her being there.

"Thank you!" It had been a long time since they'd spoken so calmly and Gwen simply didn't know how to react. Morgana noticed her discomfort and added immediately.

"Who'd ever think we'll end up like that. I wish we hadn't grew up. Do you remember when we used to dream at this day?"

"You've made your choices."

"I guess I do. We all do…. I'm not coming back, you know?" Gwen looked at her, confusion on her face. "Back in Camelot."

"But they said you can't stay here."

"They said it couldn't be two versions at the same time. They'll go with you."

"And Merlin? Our time's Merlin."

"He stays here as well. It's just… They will handle better and I...we are too sick of wars and conflicts and hiding. We like this world better."

"I don't know what to say. I mean...I want this war to end and you're right, they are… I don't know… Probably, it's because they know things we don't."

"It's because they know they'd lose more if they are unable to cope with it."

"And you aren't?"

"I just need some peace. I might regret it later, but for now I want it. I have a gift for you, a wedding gift."

And her eyes shone aflame as a rain of blue butterflies setted on Gwen's hair and turned into hairpins. Others fell on her dress and became silky ornaments, a big one flew to her neck and stopped there while it got caught in a precious golden necklace and two small ones landed on her ears and were replaced by sapphired earrings.

"They're lovely. Thank you, Morgana!"

"I wish you'd realized that magic is beautiful in fact. That's what I miss the most from my childhood, the innocence, the power to believe in magic."

"We miss you!"

"It would never be the same." Gwen took a deep breath and then she added:

"Would you come? I really want you to be there today." The braid had tears in her eyes.

"Of course I will. I wouldn't miss it for nothing. But you have to come to mine."

"Are you getting married?! When? Who?" She hadn't expected Gwen would be so excited.

"I don't know. I mean I don't know when. Soon, I guess. But, I want you to come. And the answer to your last question I think is pretty obvious."

"You and Merlin?!" She laughed.

"It seems so."

"Waw! Who would have guessed!"

"What? Is it really so odd? Unbelievable? Unimaginable? Un….?"

"Unexpected. Surprising. Yes, it is indeed. Everything is so. My live. Your lives. And yet it the best we can have."

* * *

"Merlin!" It was Arthur. His face told him whatever the king wanted to say it wouldn' t be that easy. "Gwen told me you want to stay...here"

"Is it wrong?"

"I'm sorry!"

"What for?"

"For never being the friend you want me to be. I hope my acting like that lately doesn't have anything to do with you decision. I want you to know you are still welcome in Camelot."

"What about Morgana?"

"I haven't know you care."

"I love her and I'm not going to choose between you. That way I know you'll be better while I could have the life I wish to have. I just need to be happy!"

"We'll miss you!"

"Goodbye, Arthur!" And he hugged him for the first and last time. "I know they told you to speak with me. That's why I know you would be alright. That's how I know this is the best way." Young Merlin whispered in his ear. "Be the king I know you are."

* * *

It was the last day they were to spend together. Deep down they all knew they were going to miss each other. The old Merlin didn't want them part that way. Young Morgana and young Merlin might never meet the group again, but still they needed to understand each other, both the former and the latter.

"I want we play a game. What do you say about it?"

"It depends what type of game it is." Gwaine answered. "However, I'm in."

"It's pretty easy. You have to form pairs of two. So, Morgana and Gwen, Merlin and Arthur, Elyan and Percival, you and Gana. The rules are easy - you have to switch places and present yourself as you are your partner. I will put you some questions and you have to answer as if you were the other. Until you finish your part you are not allowed to act as yourself. Remember you are the other. Morgana, you're first."

"Well...I…"

"Come. It will be alright. Tell me some things about you. You may sit down if you want. You may start with your name. Some things you like/ dislike. Just present yourself." Merlin tried to drive the conversation.

"Fine...I'm Gwen… I'm …. I was the… lady Morgana's maid. I'm brunette, hazel-eyed."

"You were lady Morgana's maid, right?"

"Yes."

"So, you're not her maid anymore. Why so?" It was going awkward.

"Because…" She didn't know what to say. What had happened between them? They had used to be best friends? Well, she married Arthur, but…. It was only one answer she could think about and yet it'd never crossed her mind before. "Lady Morgan decided to take over Camelot."

"Ok. What was wrong about it? You certainly could have kept working for her after that, couldn't you?"

"She had magic."

"And? What was wrong about it?"

"I hate it."

"Why?"

"I don't know, Merlin." She threw at him.

"There must be a reason. You can't hate something for no reason."

"It's evil."

"How you know that?"

"It scares me."

"Why?"

"People died because of it and… I can't do nothing against it."

"Did lady Morgana used magic to kill people?" There was a moment of silence.

"Yes."

"Do you think it was right what she did?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because…. "

"Did her actions prove you that you'd been right about magic?"

"Yes."

"So?"

"She needed to be stopped."

"That is why you chose Arthur instead of her?"

"I loved Arthur."

"What if you hadn't felt that way for him, would still choose him?"

"I… Yes, I guess. She betrayed him and… He didn't deserve it."

"Didn't you betrayed her too when choosing Arthur?"

"I have to … find a way. No matter what I would have done, I would have to betray someone anyway. And she wasn't my only friend. I had to save the others."

"Ok. I guess it's enough. Do you have any question." He addressed to the audience. None said anything. "You can go back being Morgana." Merlin went on after a while. "Now, Gwen, was she right?"

"Yes, almost. Just that I didn't hate magic, I just couldn't understand why she'd changed so much. It was after her betrayal that I started to hate magic. Morgana scared me. We used to be friends and suddenly she kept pushing me away. Then, she wanted me dead and not long after that she ordered the soldiers to shoot the people. I couldn't stay by her side...and...before I'd felt that I was more than a serving girl, after she returned, I was just a servant. I could not serve someone who didn't care for me, who cared only for herself."

Morgana said nothing. She'd never thought that way. It made sense, though.

"Are you ready, Gwen?"

"I guess so." She took a deep breath and then she started to speak. "I'm lady Morgana...at least I was. Now I prefer to be known as Morgana Pendragon. I used to care a lot for people. Sometimes even too much and eventually I got hurt. I never felt I was loved enough. You probably want to know why I've chosen that way."

"Yeh, we do, don't we?"

"Because I wanted to help and I didn't know how to. I couldn't stand seeing more innocent people dying. It made me furious...and this fury grew bigger and bigger, stronger and stronger everyday until I couldn't control it. I started to make mistakes without thinking about the consequences. One day, though I realized there was no way back. So, I didn't look back. So, I learnt magic and it made me powerful."

"Were you happy?"

"I was focused on killing Uther and Arthur. I've never think about happiness."

"What went wrong?"

"They were united while I… I had lost… their friendship...People work for me because of gold or because they want power."

"Have you missed you life in Camelot? Have you regretted anything?"

"Well…" She looked at Morgana.." Sometimes."

"Have you considered asking for forgiveness?"

"I couldn't have..I'm too proud. If I admitted it, then my world would crumble down."

"Have you ever fallen in love with someone?"

"Yes, I have. I've fallen in love with Merlin."

"How long have you loved him?"

"I don't know. Probably, not long after I met him first time."

"You said you felt unloved. Wasn't he enough?"

"I haven't told him about my feeling."

"Ok. But how did you know he hadn't felt the same way?"

"I… He never told me that he'd Ioved me"

"Neither do you and yet you said you loved him."

"I needed proves to think he loved me too, otherwise I couldn't dare to think something like that."

"Well, you were a lady and a very beautiful one. Have you never thought that no matter his feeling he might find even difficult to speak up to you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"Because people used to tell me how the felt."

"Does it mean they were honest?"

"I guess not, but I didn't care at the time."

"Why did you try to kill Gwen?"

"Because I knew she would choose Arthur."

"Do you think it was right what she did? I mean to choose a friend and abandon the other."

"At the time I felt it wasn't. She was my best friend and I hoped she would understand. I hoped she would tried harder to help me, but instead she put distance between us."

"Do you think she could have saved you?"

"Yes. All I wanted was a piece of advice."

"Do you have any question?" Merlin asked his friends.

"Yes" Morgana spoke. "Why did you choose to use magic?"

"I didn't choose. I had magic since I was pretty young. I used to see the future."

"Isn't great? To see the future."

"Not when you only see the worst of it and no when you have to keep your ability hidden."

"Do you want to add something else?"

"No. I guess that will be all." Morgana completed.

"Fine. Thank you, Morgana! Now you can go back being Gwen. So, Morgana, what you think about it?"

"It's interesting...Not everything she said was completely true, but I guess she knows me pretty well. In fact, I had to admit that she explained my actions better than I could have done myself which is amazing… And...the game...I've never tried to see things through someone else's eyes. I've always been certain that I knew why people had acted the way they did, but somehow being in their shoes and trying to figure out a way to justify those actions I realized that I knew nothing…. I realized that I may have acted similarly if I were to make the same choices."

"It's a frequent mistake to judge someone's actions out of context. There is also something I want you to keep in mind, not always people act for a reason. Some actions may be caused by impulsivity, stupidity, fury, luck, fear. None of them is planned. You can't define a person by a singular action or word. If you do so, there is high chance to misunderstand them."

For a while it was deep silence as none felt right to say a thing. Tgey had all made mistakes. They had all judged each other. None had tried to see things through...to switch roles. Maybe, their lives would have been different.

* * *

"It's my turn." Arthur said after he'd stood up and went to the special side of the speaker. He sat down and started to talk about Merlin. But after a few banal sentences such as "My name is Merlin and I'm coming from a small village called Eldor. I'm king Arthur's servant.", the king found out he knew less than he'd thought about his friend. Yet old Merlin helped him with questions.

"What was your first impression about prince Arthur?"

"Well...not pretty good...I guess."

"Well?"

"I challenged him in order to help a lad Arthur and his band had been… mistreating."

"And?"

"And I spent some hours in the dungeons for addressing inappropriately to the prince. Yet I did not regret my actions. If I had had the ability, I would have given the prince a lesson."

"What do you mean "If I had had the ability"? Did he defeat you? Didn't you have magic at the time?"

"I didn't." Yet Arthur acknowledged his mistake as soon as he saw the reaction of his friend. "It was risky to use it, so…"

"You played the vulnerable stupid boy part, didn't you? Though, you've been using your magic for such a long time and yet none suspected you. So, why did you not use it in order to defeat Arthur? Were you really unable to beat him?"

"I've…" He looked at Merlin hoping to find the answer there. "It wasn't worth risking."

"So you prefered to be humiliated rather than exposing yourself, didn't you?"

"At least I would not lose my head." Soon he acknowledged what he said. Old Merlin caught his reaction and he asked.

"Do you think that Arthur has ever considered the danger you had to live every day because of your magic?"

"No, I don't think he'd ever considered it. Well, I've never told him about it and so…"

"Do you think that he would have understood if you had told him?"

"I don't know…"

"Well, you've been accused for sorcery several times and he did nothing to save you, did he? How did you feel knowing that you have to keep pretending whole the time? That your friends may turn against you if they were to find out?"

"I've…. I've never dare to tell them… I couldn't… I couldn't bear their pushing me away."

"Why did you stay there? Why didn't look up for friends who were like you?"

"Because…. I think that some things can't be planned. They were my friends no matter what. That's the way I am. I put my whole feelings and passion in them and I couldn't give up… I couldn't go away and still feel whole again."

Merlin smiled upon hearing that. Yes, somethings can't be planned. Life can't be planned. Life must be lived no matter what will come.

Old Merlin found terriblly funny to watch their reactions...the way the "characters" watched the "actors" surprised they'd said things that the former had thought to be known only by them; and the way the "actors" begged for the "characters" ' confirmation.

* * *

Young Morgana was standing absent-minded, watching the sunset from the clieves. The West was aflame and the beauty of that scenery made her feel a pinch of melancholy. It was that strange feeling that you miss something and yet you can't figure out what is missing.

She was dress in a marvelous long white dress and up there on the clieves, so near to the ocean, her long hair falling loosely on her back and dancing rebellious with the salty wind of the ocean, someone might have thought she was a mermaid brought by the thunderous ocean in a stormy day, her dress the foam of the ocean, her hair the dance of the wind, her posture the fierness of the waves, her eyes the gems of the depths.

"I've come to ask you if you've changed your mind." She turned around to see old Merlin behind her.

"What about?" He gave her the papers the witch had written on on her first day in that new world. It was clear on her face that Morgana had remembered.

"Is it something you want to write differently?" He asked.

"You still have them."

"I've found them on the floor and I decided to keep them safe until this day would come."

"I do not remember what I wrote there. I guess I wasn't completely honest because I tried my best to highlight their flows and to ignore their qualities. I was so furious and I needed someone to blame for my every error. And it worked for a while. But trying to figure out the qualities I found some feelings that I thought to be lost. It forced me to see the things I wanted not to see."

"Are you sure you want to stay? I mean everything they...us will do there will affect you. You know that, don't you?"

"I will remember, won't I? I and Merlin will be together, won't we? Because I don't care how the world looks like. We'll found a way."

"I think it will depends on you. You will create you own way. You decide who to fall in love with or who to spend you life with. Do not let others choose for you and most important never make the same mistakes. There are so many other ways you could be wrong. Test them! Test everything! Come! It's time to say goodbye."

* * *

 _ **6 years ago: still prisoners in the cave**_

 _The sky was their only connection with the outside world. Early in the morning, the sun heated some corners of their rock prison. Merlin wake up early only to enjoy that sunbath. He lay on his back with his face towards the huge crack in the rock cave that allowed the nature to communicate with the two magic creatures. It was warm and it usually lasted too little, so he did his best to feel it as long as possible._

 _At that time Morgana was still asleep. The warlock couldn't help thinking that she seemed so innocent in the first morning light. Even asleep she searched for the sun's warmth. Her hand was stretched toward the sunrays that invaded the dark place. Slowly, the light got closer to her hand until it was just there. Morgana smiled as she felt its warmth. She kept smiling as the sunray traveled on her body. Yet she didn't awake._

 _Merlin didn't dare to woke her either. She was much happier in those moments when her mind lose control and relax. The coldness her posture had used to display due to her sever control over her own gestures was now gone. She was just like a kid, peaceful and happy._

 _The sunray landed on her face. She lazily covered her eyes with her hand and went on sleeping on her bed of sponges._

 _If he thought it thoroughly, didn't need to pretend he was in love with her as he really was just so close to. Watching her while she slept, lying so close to her, feeling her breath on his neck; all those were driving him crazy. Of all the things he should feel loving her was the worst._

 _Yet he was hating her for being so damn stubborn._

 _At night the sky was even more beautiful. Watching the stars was one of the only things they actually did together. None of them spoke. They just lay there quiet, lost in their own thoughts. If one of them dared to look at the other, as soon as they met the other glance, they would instantly go back to watching the sky. And it kept going on and on as each of them secretly let their glances lingered on the other's face while the moon chased away the deep darkness of the night with its light._

* * *

 _She rested her head on his chest. If they were going to play the loving birds then they would have to play it until the end._

 _It was quite awkward for both of them as none knew how to react. Morgana found a way out of that situation by starting to complain. She either blamed him for acting like an idiot or complained that her neck ached because of the uncomfortable position she was forced to deal with._

 _Later as being too close to him, no matter how warmth it felt, she accused him of having flies and she started to scratched all over her body. Their short romantic moment was ruined..._

* * *

 _She wake up as she felt him cuddling into her belly. She pushed him away, but he came back._

 _"I've thought we pretend being together." Merlin said on a playful tone that came like a challenge to her. "So, darling, will take care of me." And he put on the most sweetish-childish look he was able to master._

 _"I'll kill you" She uttered through her teeth "darling."_

 _However, she allowed him to stay and even allowed him to take advantage of her "kindness"._

 _Merlin was really sick. The witch hadn't realized initially, yet it soon was pretty obvious as he started to shiver. Yet he didn't stop teasing her even when he was hardly able to keep his eyes opened. His voice turned feeble and his body lost strength to the point it became as limp as a rag._

 _Despite wanting him dead, the witch was really scared of losing him. Being alone in that cave gave her shivers._

 _"You don't look pretty well" He joked, although he struggled to speak out the words and his smile came weak._

 _"I look bad?! Honestly, Merlin" Morgana cried._

 _"Yeap. You're dirty and too pale. Have I ever told you I hate your dress? Black isn't your colour."_

 _"What you suggest then? Should I take it down?" The witch hoped to manage to intimidate him, yet it didn't work._

 _"Maybe." There was a pause as he fell asleep for a while. Morgana hoped he would leave her alone for a very long time, but as soon she move a little, Merlin opened his eyes again. "Shouldn't we kiss? All lovers do that."_

 _"Go to sleep, Merlin."_

 _"They won't believe us otherway."_

 _"Sleep, Merlin."_

 _"But…"_

 _"Sleep."_

 _"Your loss." He uttered. "Funny ears, by the way."_

 _"Merlin!"_

 _"Yes. I'm here."_

 _Eventually the witch gave up. In his state it was only a matter of time until he would fall asleep again. With that only consolation in her mind, the witch allowed him to speak. It doesn't bothered her too much as long as she didn't pay attention. His voice was way too feeble to sound more than a murmur._

 _Merlin had just wanted to have a short morning walk before Morgana were to woke up. He went on studying the cave and he ignored the yellowish snake that was hanging just above his head. He only saw it when he felt a wave of pain crossing his shoulder. There was any other mark, but two small blood drops. Yet it was enough. He knew that snake. Its venom was lethal._

 _As he didn't want to die alone, he tried his best to go back to Morgana. As he had nothing to lose, he teased her. For the first time he was able to say whatever he wanted._


	14. A never ending story

**This is the last chapter. After so many months we are finally here. Hope you enjoy it. Before I let you read this I want to add that I've made some updates to previous chapters (chapter 2, the one with the seas, Victory and the chapter before the last). I just felt that I own you some explanations.**

* * *

A never-ending story

Dear Morgana,

I know this will sound strange. I'm,let's say, a past version of you. I don't know if you're going to remember. Your world must have changed a lot since I visited it last time and so had the world you were supposed to live in.

What do you know about Arthurian legends? Well, I'm the malevolent sister who did everything in her powers to gain the throne of Camelot. But things are not so easy. I had my reasons to do what I did. It wasn't the right way, though, and when I'd finally realized my errors I tried to change it.

You can find the whole story in the diary Acheflow has given to you. I want for you to know the entire story and the real one and I want you to hear it from me.

It wasn't easy. At first, I've thought that already knowing the future would save me for repeating the same mistakes. Well, it helped me for a while, but life is so full of so many ways of doing things wrongly that avoiding one wasn't enough to protect me from other. Plus, the future changed so quickly. The things I'd used to know never happened or at least not in the way I'd expected.

I'd known it wouldn't be easy. There were days when I simply had to put a smile on my face and say I'm alright even if nobody ever asked me. I had to sit at the same table with people that didn't want me there. I had to stood firm for what I thought to be right even if they were against me. But this time I had Merlin and Aithusa.

Me and Merlin had our ups and downs, but in time we've learn to accept and love each other just the way we were. It wasn't like one of those love stories you read during high school, but it was real and it was ours.

Magic eventually returned. For a while it thrived and there was peace. In time, though, the ancient gods and their cults died and they were replaced by other believes and other types of magic, a magic that comes from love and faith, a magic that lives inside all of us, but only few are able to find it.

Now you must be shinning. Rich, beautiful, loved and envied by everyone. Enjoy what life has offered to you. I wish you got everything I never had the chance to have and above all the family I craved for. A mother to hold your hand when you were afraid and kiss you good night, a father to buy the most crazy things you ask for, to build you tree house and eventually a beautiful kid to remind you how genuinely beautiful laughing feels like.

When a clumsy, dark-haired boy will come to your life do not be afraid to lose yourself in his blue eyes. He may steal you autocontrol, you would feel defenceless, but this is love. Isn't it wonderful?

* * *

Morgana didn't remember. In fact, she thought the letter to be a joke, but she like the way it was written and so she decided to keep it.

Morgana was an ordinary girl, from a small town which somehow found herself in a too big world for herself. Home things had been fine. She was loved and she loved the people that surrounded her. But she had to move. It was something around her that hadn't let her be. Morgana wanted more.

She loved her parents. She admired them and she was grateful for everything they'd done for her, but that was the time for her to fly away and she needed to find her wings.

She felt lonely. All her illusions had turned into dust. For unknown reasons Morgana found hard to make friends. No matter what she did she felt that she was clumsy, that she would never be as good as her collages.

Well, they were rich and confident. They knew the town and they had always had everything they had asked for. Morgana would have never been able to afford the nice things they had or to go to the parties they did. And yet she smiled and tried to be polite even when she found her favorite place at the table already busy and deep down she knew that nobody had cared to save that place for her. And it didn't happen once. It kept happening and they should have known. Morgana had sitten there from the very beginning.

But she never said a world for fear she might lose the only so-called friends she had.

Sometimes, she just stood there and listened to others. And she wanted so much to speak out her mind, but she didn't dare to for fear it might sound stupid. And yet there were moments when she was unable to hold back her true feeling or her thoughts. It never came gently, though. Morgana strangely turned into a tornado in those moments and nobody couldn't get what had come over her.

Eventually, she met the darked-haired boy. She'd seen him several times. She didn't know his name, but his blue eyes captured her immediately. Yet she never dare to speak to him. He was rich, he was popular and he was handsome and so all the girls tried to be around him. He was in the second year and he was pretty clever. She'd heard it, but it was kinda difficult for the young lady to get how a popular boy like him could find time for studying. The girls from her year kept asking him different things about some subjects that Morgana was shocked they cared for.

Soon she found out he was also an actor and a famous one. Was there something he wasn't able to do? Obvious, she hadn't known eho he really was. She couldn't get how he found time for studying. But she couldn't ask a thing about him. They would laugh that her, an ordinary girl, had fallen in love with the city new star. Well, if she were to think about it, that was in fact very awkward.

Finally, he'd spoken to her, but she'd lost her mind so badly that she said only stupid things. She was sure he'd thought she didn't want to speak with him. He just smiled to her and she kept watching him how he asked for a book, sat down in the library room and started to read. How could she be so stupid?

* * *

Merlin had what most people would call a perfect life. Yet, his life hadn't been and still wasn't easy. He was the son of a very famous surgeon and of a very sober colonel in the Army Air Corps. His mother had hardly been at home and when she had she had hardly any time for him. His father was cold and sober and almost whole the time gone on duty. He hardly remembered a time when he'd genuinely laughed and he hardly remembered a time when they were all of them together.

Merlin had got the best education, but that had come with a price. His whole schedule had been planned by his parents since he'd been pretty young. Despite having dozens of toys and puzzles he had hardly got any time for them and eventually he had had to give them away.

However, those courses he'd taken proved to be very useful. He was pretty comfortable on speaking in front of others; it had always come easily for him to socialize due to the variety of topics he could speak about; history and geography had always be a must because of his father and therefore Merlin was good at them. Some of the history and geography he knew, Merlin had learnt from his father. It had been the only topics about which his father used to speak with him (except literature).

Yet acting had always been his hobby and so he'd started to play at first in school theater plays, then he'd appeared in different plays in town and eventually, he'd decided to run for a film. But it was only the beginning.

His life had been more than perfect until he met her. There was something about that green-eyed beauty. It was like he'd met her before, maybe in another life. Whatever it was she had turned his world upside down. And for the popular boy, used to gain everybody's attention, Morgana was indeed a mystery. And for the first time, Merlin realized that he didn't know the right words.

* * *

 **At the end, I would like to know your impressions. If you had time, please, drop me some lines. This way, I will know what I have to improve on the future.**


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